SEX TALK FOR MEN

by Lawrence Wilson, MD

© February 2012, The Center For Development, Inc.

 

                  This short article is one of the most important on this website.  It is written specifically for men, to understand their female companions and wives better in the sexual and relationships areas.  Some of what it contains may sound corny or stupid, but it is not.  It is one of the most important aspects of a relationship with and for a woman.

 

SEX FOR MEN IS NOT THE SAME AS SEX IS FOR MOST WOMEN

 

Sex for most men is mostly a physical and perhaps an emotional release.  For women, it is not this as much as it is a confirmation that she is loved, and that she is accepted for who she is.  This may sound strange to some men who view sex as just a physical act.  However, it is the truth in most cases for most women.

Of course, for some women, sex is just a physical act and many women are so tired that they have no desire for it and it is just a chore that goes with marriage or a committed relationship.  However, in most cases, if a woman is healthy, sex has more to do with cementing the relationship on a physical level.

WomenÕs orgasms.  One reason for this is that women bond to men during sex.  Men do not bond to women during sex nearly as much.  This is, in fact, a physiological difference between them.  During orgasm, in particular, womenÕs energy field expands and includes her partner.  During orgasm, in most cases, a manÕs energy field around his body does not expand nearly as much and sex is mainly a physical action that may feel good, but the effect stops there. 

                  In fact, orgasms for women are quite different than they are for men.  As many men know, women can have multiple orgasms without difficulty, whereas most men cannot.  Women also do not lose as much vital sexual fluids as men because the womenÕs fluids are reabsorbed.  These are two of the main differences.  A third and very important one is discussed in the next section of this article.

 

SEX FOR WOMEN MUST BE GENTLE AND YOU MUST STOP IMMEDIATELY WHEN SHE SAYS STOP OR YOU ARE LIABLE TO LOSE YOUR LADY

 

                  A critical fact about all women is their genital organs are much more sensitive and delicate than those of a man.  This is critical to know and recall at all times.  One may think that women must be very tough because they carry and give birth to children.  This is true at one level.  However, their sexual organs are much more delicate than those of any man.

                  For this reason, sex with any woman must always be gentle.  This is a hard rule that must not be broken if a man values his relationship at all.  If a man is ever rough with his wife, girlfriend or committed partner, it will often ruin the relationship forever.

                  What does rough mean in this context?  It means any of the following:

 

1. Asking for sex too frequently.  Most women are very happy with sex once a week or so.  Few want more than this, except those with sexual fluid craving disease, as discussed below.

2. Going too long.  This means continuing intercourse and pumping, in particular, for more than about 15 minutes in most cases.  Most women are very satisfied with a few orgasms and shorter intercourse these days.  The reason is that going longer will deplete the womanÕs sexual fluids and she will be tired for hours or even days afterwards.  It is horrible for her health, as the sexual fluids are vital for a woman to hold onto, just as are the sexual fluids of any man if he wants to have optimum health.

Going too long is the primary reason for many breakups and divorces.  Most men do not realize this because their ladies have usually tried gently to stop the men during sex and the men just donÕt get it.  They think that women are like men, and men like to go longer, at times, so the woman must enjoy it too, as she is having orgasms.  Gentlemen, please listen.  It does not matter how many orgasms the woman has, or even if she has any at all.  She always knows when she is tiring out and it is time to stop.

Please know this.  You must stop immediately when your lady asks.  Otherwise you may well lose the relationship and you may never know why.  It is worse than messing up the bathroom, leaving clothes on the floor, not making enough money, or other common complaints women have about their men.  Women have also been known to become violent if their man does not stop immediately when they request it.  So keep this in mind, too. 

Spousal rape and domestic violence.  When a man goes on after a woman says please ÒStop, I have had enough.Ó, it is rape and a form of domestic violence, pure and simple.  The official name for it is spousal rape, or perhaps date rape if one is not yet in a committed relationship.  It is rape, gentlemen, and the lady will hate you for it, even if she continues to go out with you or continues to live with you forever.  She may stay with you because she still loves aspects of you or perhaps because she feels she has few alternatives.

Do not listen to locker room talk, television psychologists or anyone else that tells men that when a woman says she has had enough, that it is okay to go on with sex for even one minute.

 

LIFE WITHOUT SEX AT ALL IS DIFFICULT FOR MOST WOMEN, BUT THEY DO NOT NEED MUCH OF IT IN MOST CASES

 

                  This is just a fact about most women, although as with any generalization there are exceptions.  Most women want some sexual contact in their marriage or committed relationship.  However, do not ever believe that this means that a woman wants a lot of sex.  There are some women, as explained below, that do like a lot of sex, and this can be dangerous for a man.  However, most women are satisfied with a little sex and a lot of cuddling, in fact, and not the other way around.

                  Many, though not all men, like it just the opposite.  This is okay.  However, men and women must understand their differences and must make compromises in order for a relationship to work well.  This is critical to know and to discuss with your lady.  In fact, discussing this entire article with her is a wonderful idea.  Perhaps she will disagree with all of it, but at least you have discussed it and you have learned how your partner feels about some very intimate and scary areas to talk about for many women and men.

                  Now let us talk about one of the most horrible and growing problems in our modern society for women that most of them do not understand and often are not willing to talk about.

 

SEXUAL FLUID CRAVING IS A GROWING PROBLEM FOR WOMEN.  MEN NEED WARNING ABOUT THIS CONDITION AND HOW TO HANDLE IT

 

                  Sexual fluid craving, as I will call it, is a strange, rather new malady.                   It is actually a subtle nutritional imbalance in which a woman feels the need to have more and more male sexual fluid because it gives her a lift, a zing or a boost for a few hours to a few days or even a week or more.

It is growing fast, and is worst among younger women, vegetarians, semi-vegetarians, vegans (the most) and among women who have been raped or even molested as children or as adults.  These women all share one thing in common.  They are in worse general nutritional condition, especially as regards the minerals zinc and selenium.

The simple antidote for this condition is that a woman so afflicted must eat red meat, especially lamb, at least twice a week and perhaps three times a week.  This is the best solution, although taking zinc helps a little and eating kelp and hijiki, two sea vegetables, may help a little.  Red meat can cure the malady, but most women with the condition start to detest red meat, so it is an effort to overcome this strange aversion to red meat.  Vegetarians may not want to eat red meat, but I assure you it works and it is often the only thing that works. 

The only thing that works better is a total nutritional balancing program based on a properly performed and correctly interpreted hair mineral analysis.  This program will include eating red meat twice or three times weekly. 

WomenÕs sexual fluid craving is actually very dangerous for men, so please listen carefully and help your lady if she has this condition.  You will know she has it because she will practically demand sex, often more than once a week and sometimes daily or even more.  It is dangerous for men for a number of reasonsÓ

1. Too much sex depletes the male sexual fluids.  This is definitely harmful and can cause and early death, cancer, and more illnesses.

2. Your woman, if she is not satisfied, may go outside of her relationship with you for sex.  She also will not want to use condoms in most cases, as this blocks the absorption of the sexual fluid in her vagina.  This combination means she will contract sexually-transmitted diseases in almost all cases, which she will pass on to you if you are not alert and careful to this problem.

3. Your mate, wife or girlfriend may even desert you for a more ÒsexualÓ man if she has this condition, so stop it immediately.  It is an addiction in every sense, which means that the women start lying about, craving it more and more, and acting quite selfish and irrational in many cases.  It can be a home wrecker, marriage wrecker and generally a horror.

Sexual fluid craving disease is a large and interesting subject.  For more, read Sexual Fluid Craving on this website.

 

DONÕT TALK ABOUT YOUR WIFE OR LADY WITH OTHERS, EVER, AT ALL

 

                  This is another important point if a man wants to hold on to a good woman.  Never, ever reveal details about your sex life or your lady to anyone – not to your closest friend, relatives, parents, children or anyone else.  Never, ever discuss it in public, by the way.  That is even worse.

                  The reason for this is that women see sex in a more sacred and special and private way than men do, in most cases.  They often discuss it with their girlfriends, but they will get angry in most cases if they find out that their man has been sharing details about it with others of either sex.  This is not as important as the subjects above, but it is a generally important subject related to sexual intimacy.

 

MEN, CLEAN THE HEAD OF THE PENIS AND THE TOILET AFTER EACH USE, AND PREFERABLY SIT DOWN ON THE TOILET ALL OF THE TIME

 

IF YOUR LADY ACTS STRANGE OR ANGRY, HOW TO FIGURE OUT WHY

 

                  Here are some of the reasons to always keep in mind:

 

1. Pregnancy.  This is not that common, but of course it occurs in some cases.  This causes severe hormonal changes, mental alterations in some cases, odd cravings for foods, heat or cold in the body, nausea in some cases, and perhaps other symptoms such as odd aches or pains.  The woman may think it has to do with you, which it does not, except of course that you were responsible for her pregnancy, in part.

 

2. Projection.  Women and men project their fears, desires, anger and other feelings onto others.  It is a common fact of relationships of all kinds.  All you need to do is think about what is going on and ask yourself honestly if you are to blame, or is this something else.  That may tell you if projection is occurring.  Women often project their feelings about their fathers onto their husbands and boyfriends, so you may get a clue from this fact.  They may also project their feelings about their mothers, but this is less common.  Feelings directed at employers, bosses, supervisors and others in authority may also be easily projected onto male companions as well.  Once again, just ask if you are to blame, or is something else occurring.

 

3. Premenstrual tension, or hormonal changes for other reasons.  These are extremely common, especially the last few days before the menstrual period.  Some men keep calendars marked so they are aware of when this is occurring.  This only works if the womanÕs periods are regular, of course.  Premenstrual syndrome causes irritability, anger, depression, weepiness, sadness, hypersensitivity and can even cause violence in a woman.  It is worth understanding and observing if you notice a monthly tendency for your lady to be upset, in pain, or otherwise out of sorts.

 

4. Retracing.  If your female companion is following a nutritional balancing program, which I hope she is, she will go through retracing reactions, or purification reactions from time to time.  These are unpredictable in their timing, their nature and their severity.  Most are mild, cause few symptoms, and pass quickly.  Now and then, however, one can be intense, can cause mental and emotional symptoms that are awful, and a reaction can last up to a month or more easily.  This is especially the case if you know your female companion has been through any sort of important trauma such as rape, abuse, beating, difficult prior marriage, or anything else.

During a retracing or healing reaction, most people lose awareness of the present to some degree.  They are literally 2 or 5 or 15 years old again, and going through the same trauma as they did back then, only they are learning how to process it and handle it correctly.  They may become very angry, very depressed, anxious, fearful, moody or experience hateful thoughts, for example, or other deranged thinking.  This can be a challenge for her and for you.  

Rest assured, if she continues with her program and keeps in touch with her nutrition consultant as to whether changes in her program are needed, the symptoms will pass and all will be well.  However, retracing reactions can and do strain relationships in some cases.  At least if you are forewarned, you can relax, not take things personally or ÒpoisonallyÓ, and give her more ÕspaceÕ for the few days or weeks that it can take to get through the reaction.  The main thing is not to react and be a stabilizing influence and the reaction will usually proceed faster this way.  Reacting can keep her or even trap her in her process, slowing or even stopping the deep trauma healing.

 

5. A need for food, water, rest or relaxation.  All of us can snap at others, lose patience, feel dejected or rejected or become angry too easily when we are out of sorts due to fatigue, mainly, but also sometimes due to hypoglycemia or even just a little dehydration.  So check on this with your spouse or partner if something occurs and you wonder ÒWhere did that come from?Ó

 

6. A need for intimacy or a need to talk more, perhaps.  While it may sound odd, some women have a strong need to be close to their man, perhaps sexually but usually not, and a need to just sit together and talk and perhaps cuddle.  If this is missing, or just if it is needed and not forthcoming, some women, instead of just asking for what they want, will become angry, belligerent, depressed or just ornery and hard to get along with.  Just be aware of this need for closeness that some, though not all women, need.  It is easy to provide, sometimes almost too easy, by just sitting close on the couch together, or perhaps giving a warm hug or two.

 

HOW YOUR HEALING REACTIONS CAN AFFECT YOUR LADY

 

                  Another factor that may be very important in your relationship is when you go through mental/emotional or even physical changes due to a nutritional balancing program, or perhaps for other reasons.  These can be quite disruptive for a marriage or committed relationship, and you may not realize it.  Therefore, if you suspect that you are not acting your usual calm, balanced and helpful self, be sure to inform your partner of this, and seek to move through the situation as best you can, asking her for patience and gentle feedback as to what is going on.  This is often the best that you can do.  She is welcome to read the article on this site entitled Retracing And Healing Reactions, and this may help, as well.  This is not ever an excuse for unacceptable behavior like going too long or hard with sex, verbal abuse or anything else, but it may help.

                  We have had male-female relationships break up when the man went through fairly severe healing reactions, so this is not something to take lightly.

 

 

6. you are going through something.

 

 

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