by Lawrence Wilson, MD

THE SEXUAL ORDER

WHAT IS THE SEXUAL ORDER CONCEPT?

The sexual order is a subtle concept that is important for all man-woman sexual relationships, in particular, but really for all relationships in which a man and a woman are mated and must make decisions together.

The sexual order concerns subtle differences between men and women, in most cases, that tend to impact their relationships with each other.

This article only concerns relationships in which a woman is involved with a good or decent man. Women must learn not to associate at all with liars, cheaters, players, bisexual men, alcoholics, drug users and others like this.

The essence of the sexual order is that the male needs to take the lead in most aspects of the relationship until the woman reaches a particular level of maturity in which she can understand and practice what may be called “a male view of the world”. This sometimes occurs early in a woman’s life, even during childhood if she is raised correctly. In other cases, it never occurs. However, in most cases it rarely happens until she is 30 or older, and usually after 40 or 50 years of age. This is the essence of the sexual order.

When I speak with couples, I notice that some women seem to understand this idea intuitively, while others fiercely object to the idea. Those that seem to understand it well are usually mated to a very good man, and so letting him lead is actually a pleasure for them. Obviously, if one is mated to an erratic, unstable man or a dishonest man, then letting him lead is far scarier and more dangerous, in fact, and should not be done. However, rather than take the lead, the woman is often better off leaving the man entirely and finding a better one to lead her.

LEARNING TO APPRECIATE THE MAN IN YOUR LIFE

At a more practical level, the sexual order is about a woman learning to appreciate and therefore to trust a good male partner with their lives, their bodies, their sexuality, and most everything else. This is an unpopular concept today, but I think it is one that needs to be discussed openly, even if you violently disagree with the idea.

I realize this idea is unfamiliar to many young women today, who are taught that they basically don’t need a man, or he’s just good for money, sex and other good things. So in this regard, I will sound old fashioned, perhaps. But this is the concept.

It means that until a woman reaches a certain stage of maturity, it is best for her, within a man-woman relationship, to take a back seat, as it were. This does not mean she is a doormat, or should allow any abuse, misuse or unethical behavior on the part of her partner or mate. However, it means that she must learn to trust her mate. If she cannot learn this, she is better to get out of the relationship and either be on her own, or mate with someone else.

WHY IS THERE A SEXUAL ORDER OF THIS KIND?

1. Physics. This requires a little introduction. Yin and yang are ancient Chinese words that describe fundamental qualities of all physical matter, including our bodies and our brains. Their meaning is explained blow. Today, however, the entire population of the world is quite yin. This is due to radiation toxicity, too many toxic metals and toxic chemicals in the environment and in our bodies, a depleted food supply, the use of medical drugs and vaccines, and for other reasons. For more on this, read Yin Disease and Yin and Yang Healing. With this brief introduction, let us address an important difference between men and women and how it impacts relationships.

Men are more yang, which means more extroverted, more comfortable in the world in most cases, hotter, angrier, more hardened and condensed. Women tend to be much more yin. This means colder, retiring, introverted and more fearful. Yang or yin are not better than the other, but a more yang quality and attitudes is often 1) more balanced today and 2) much better for making wise decisions in society and in relationships, in most cases.

Being more yang, for example, helps men to do better in the rough and tumble outer world than women, who often prefer a more protected environment. Men, for example, are often far less concerned whether they are liked. This is a yang tough quality, and due to many factors, perhaps. However, it is an important factor in making the best decisions. Women, by contrast, are more easily swayed by pity, emotions, sentimentality and other yin attitudes. This tends to hinder wise decision-making in most, though not all, cases.

2. Hormonal differences. Women’s monthly hormonal changes tend to make her behavior and her thinking much more erratic and unsteady, even from day to day, at times. I know some will challenge this idea. However, aware women usually know this, and they appreciate the steadiness of men in this regard. Steadiness and consistency are important to make the best high-quality decisions.

3. Physiology besides hormones. Women are copper-dominant, while men are more zinc-dominant in almost all cases. More copper gives women and girls many good qualities, but it also makes them more emotional and spacey and gullible, in general, and often less grounded and less centered than men. This is especially true at certain times of the month.

They often care more deeply, but more copper easily impairs logical thinking and substitutes either emotional thinking or idealistic, spacey and ungrounded thinking qualities. This often results in poorer quality decisions.

Higher copper in their tissues also makes women more interested in others and less selfish, at times. This is a wonderful quality, but is not best for many types of decisions.

4. Energetic differences. (Men are more in touch with the “father” energy). This will sound unusual, but men’s higher zinc and selenium levels, in many cases, also tend to put them in touch with an etheric energy that is more difficult for many women to contact and connect with for sustained periods of time.

This particular energy gives men a certain stability and practical quality of which women tend to have less. Zinc is called the gentle strength mineral, and the balancer. Women tend to waiver more, and be less sure of themselves. This can benefit them in some ways, but it hinders their ability to lead, in most cases.

Perhaps for these reasons, men seem to do better at stepping out first into the world, and, in fact, in leading in many areas, even raising children and cooking food, areas that are traditionally controlled by women in most societies.

5. Other psychological differences between most men and most women. Women often have more trouble changing quickly, and instead tend to hold on to the past more than most men. Women often have more of a need to be loved, and this may predispose them to be slow to move on, even when this can be extremely important at times. This quality is not helpful for making important decisions that involve risk.

Women tend to be more concerned with appearances than men, especially today in Western society where body shape and appearance seems all important to young people. Most men are much less concerned with this area of life. Men often prefer to just work hard, play when they can, and not show off the body or take too much interest in material things.

While appearance may be important, at times, it is not a good value upon which to base important decisions. So men tend to be more practical in this area. A pre-occupation with beauty and appearance, in fact, occurs in many degenerating societies, and it contributes to their downfall. It happened in Rome, in Greece and it is happening in modern America and Europe today. It is always destructive, sadly.

Women tend to be more sentimental, and in part for this reason, they tend to be more gullible. These qualities also do not lend themselves to making high quality decisions.

THE SEXUAL ORDER PROTECTS WISE WOMEN

Far from harming women, the concept of the sexual order has to do with protecting women from harmful tendencies in their thinking process, until such time as they mature and get past them, when possible.

The sexual order can therefore protect women from poorer quality decisions, and protect them from relationship breakups that do not need to happen but occur because emotions take over, or sentimentality takes over and decisions are made that are not wise, even though they are often sanctioned today by counselors, psychologists and others.

In some cases, the woman is better equipped to give direction and lead. But even in these cases, the relationship will go better if she can stay more behind the scenes, directing, perhaps, but let the man lead with his more yang body and mind and other yang tendencies.

WHAT THE SEXUAL ORDER IS NOT ABOUT

The sexual order is not about who is better, more important, more loving, or who comes first in the relationship. In fact, he who leads is there to serve. It is simply about who is best fitted to make most decisions when there is a disagreement or different points of view. The sexual order has nothing to do with one’s value or intrinsic worth in any way. It has to do with who leads the way and who follows.

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THE SEXUAL ORDER IS NOT HONORED OR IS REVERSED?

When the sexual order is not understood and respected, relationships tend to be more contentious and rocky. They also tend to fall apart needlessly over small disputes.

Men. In many cases, the man who is not trusted by his mate to take care of her will feel somehow exploited, ignored, used, neglected and even abused. This may sound very odd to some modern women, but it is true. A good man knows inside that he should lead, not to boss around his partner, but to protect and care for his more yin partner, even if he is not the “smarter one” in the relationship.

Indeed, mature men always enter a relationship not to exploit a woman, but to care for her properly. When a woman cannot allow this, or cannot accept this concept, the man is abused or used – perhaps as a sugar daddy, a sex object, or just a bodyguard. Men are more than this, or can be, and as such they deserve the trust of a woman when they attempt to literally and figuratively protect, nurture, nourish and truly love her, even if it is done imperfectly, as it often is.

Women. When the woman leads, she may love the idea, but most feel insecure, though they often will not allow these feelings to be seen by others. Also, the couple’s decisions that are made with the woman in charge usually, though certainly not always, are of poorer quality.

Sadly, many women are either so spoiled or so traumatized early in life that the very idea that a rather ordinary man would want to marry them or at least live with them in order to protect and care for them seems impossible. This is indeed sad, but it is the legacy of the modern liberal era in which all things male have been denigrated and opposed as being too rough, crude, harsh, unfeeling, etc.

This is simply not the truth. There are immature men, for sure, who are violent, unfaithful, alcoholic, arrogant and so on. However, as stated above, this article is not about relationships involving those men. Women must learn not to associate with the immature men at all if they care about their safety and happiness.

It is true that things can turn ugly in the sexual order when the woman is left out of the decision process, pushed around too much, or when the man is not in touch with spiritual matters. Then the woman tends to suffer more in a relationship. However, even in this case, often the sexual order should be honored. If a woman finds this intolerable, she should leave the relationship and find a man with whom she can live in peace and in trust.

Many attractive young women attract the immature type of men and become disgusted with most men. The idea of allowing a man to “run her life” then sounds despicable, and intolerable. However, ladies, this is usually because you have chosen to pay attention to the immature, jerky men and not to the good ones out there who would only love you, not use you.

Also, letting your man lead is not the same as letting him “run your life”. It is more about getting his input and allowing him to move you along in certain ways that may seem odd or harsh, at times, but are often helpful, if you examine them closely. This assumes, once again, that one is mated to a good man.

THE “FATHER ENERGY” AND THE SEXUAL ORDER

Both the Hebrew and the Christian bibles speak often of the “Father” and the “Father Energy” as the object of our prayers and desires. They do not speak of the “mother energy” as the object of prayers and worship. Worshipping the mother energy is more common in the older pagan religions such as earth worship, and in New Age religions and radical environmentalism. Here, worshipping mother earth is common. This is related to the sexual order.

The bible makes it clear that the man should be head of the household. I maintain that this is a valid idea, provided that the sexual order concept is understood correctly. In other words, it does not mean that the man is the dictator and the woman is his slave. Quite the opposite, in fact.

He who leads or rules must be the servant to those whom he rules. This is a complex idea, but one that applies as well to families as it does to governmental leaders who are wise. They serve the people, and they must not forget whom they are to serve. When they begin to serve themselves first, it is time to replace them quickly.

PROBLEMS WITH THE NEW AGE AND GAIA MOVEMENTS

Some of the problems with the New Age movement and the radical environmentalist movement or gaia movement can help illustrate what occurs when the woman leads. Things often turn vicious and dictatorial, and decisions are made that are simply wrong or out of balance.

Recently, for example, it was discovered that information about global warming or cooling has turned out to be false. Some will disagree with this, but recently a series of scandals emerged indicating that scientists faked their data in order to support the climate change argument when the data do not support it. In other words, poor decisions were made, perhaps to save face or to win grant money.

Also, environmentalists were used by forces they did not understand – forces of socialism and communism. These negative beings easily exploit the gullibility, idealism and enthusiasm of the environmentally oriented people for their own dark purposes to control society.

Also, emotion too often leads the way, and anyone who does not agree with their position is branded or labeled as cold, unfeeling, heartless and so on. The smearing of personalities, class warfare talk, race baiting, and attacking people, rather than arguing for concepts, occurs because the environmentalist’s ideas cannot be thought through logically in too many cases. This is what I would call immature female thinking, victim thinking, and extremely unwholesome thinking, and very common in the political, economic and other realms of society today.

If we go even deeper, underneath the emotional appeal of the gaia movement and radical environmental thought that still rules America and prevents her from using her own energy resources, for example, there is a lot of anger, divisiveness, and hatred of anything male. While there are reasons for upset, the underlying hatred of oil, for example, pollutes and skews the thinking and the decision-making of these people, leading to unrealistic and stupid policy decisions.

While it is not a new problem, America, in particular, is suffering badly under this syndrome with President Obama, who embraces the female view entirely, and obviously does not like the more male view of society. This is one of independent people making independent decisions that can be trusted. He does not trust, so he wants more government control, not realizing that this just paralyzes the society and leads to financial and economic ruin, as has already occurred in Europe today. These are what may be called macro examples of immature female thinking that may help explain the sexual order.

WHEN THE ORDER MAY BE REVERSED

In a few cases, if the man and woman agree, and only then, they can reverse the sexual order. A possible reason for doing this is if the man is very ill, perhaps. In this case, the woman may take over his role to a degree. Even in these cases, however, it is usually best to maintain the sexual order as much as possible.

CONCLUSION

The sexual order is quite a subtle idea that I have just introduced in this short article. I hope it does not offend anyone too much, and that I have provoked some thought about an idea that is hard to “prove”. However, wise women know that most men are just steadier, more independent, and more grounded and centered than women are, as a general rule.

Therefore, most wise ladies ask for and learn to trust and allow their more grounded partners to make most decisions that affect the couple and the family unit, as they will often be the best decisions. This is a subject worthy of more research, as it can be a key to joy and peace in man-woman relationships.

Courses | About Dr. Wilson | The Free Basic Program