WHY ARE MANY WOMEN ANGRY?
by Lawrence Wilson, MD
© September 2015, The Center for Development
Women are often angry because they are not treated very well. This is important to know. Women tend to be angry for other reasons, as well, but this is the main one. From the time they are very young girls, women are the object of men’s preoccupation with sex, for example.
Men often undress women in their mind, even little girls, and pretend to have sex with them. Some of this is instinctual male behavior, which women need to understand and forgive. Some of it, however, is just lust.
Women feel it as an attack upon them, which it is to a degree, and they resent it deeply. This does nothing to help them, and in fact drives it deeper into their psyche.
Women are often more sensitive than men, so they see the world around them more clearly. They resent the lies that men use to try to woo the women, for example, and they resent the coarseness and insensitivity of the men. This, too, women need to forgive or it goes deep into their psyche and makes them unhappy for life.
ARE MANY WOMEN ANGRY?
Some people will disagree with the entire premise of this article. I get emails from women, mostly, who say that the article is wrong. They say that women are not angry, and in fact, men are a lot more angry than women.
I do not doubt that many men are angry. However, this article deals with women’s anger, and its causes.
FATHERS AND OLDER BROTHERS DID NOT KNOW HOW TO LOVE THEM PROPERLY
Not loving a young girl properly is very common. Here some may disagree, but I believe that all women want and require the love of a mature, detached, non-sexually involved man in their life. It is a fatherly love that they crave. It is basically the love of the Creator or God, but in human form. Men, of course, need this, too.
Women also want and need an excellent role model so they can grow up properly centered and relaxed, and then they will seek out and be able to identify the right man to marry or mate with so they will remain safe, relaxed and centered. When father or older brother does not provide this role model, young girls become very angry, and it gets worse if they later marry men who are like their father or older brothers.
Many different scenarios of improper love for a daughter are possible, such as:
Š Spoiling the child. This is usually due to sexual games, or simple immaturity on the part of the father, or some other kind of ego interplay with the daughter or with the wife, perhaps.
Š Father loves his daughter so much he fears harming her in some way, so he avoids loving contact with her. This occurs quite often, in fact, especially if the mother is loving, so the father defers to her for giving the girl hugs and so on. This, I contend, is a big mistake. Girls need the love of a father as well, as it is quite different in effect and feeling from the love of the mother.
Š Unavailable in some way. Sometimes the father must be absent for work. At other times, the father is simply emotionally cold or uneducated as to how to express feeling and say the right things, so he feels awkward and withdraws. Sometimes a father is so intimidated by his wife that he just gives up and lives in his own world, allowing mother to raise the children. This is also common and harms the daughters a lot. Some men simply do not relate well to women, due to their own unresolved and unforgiven traumas. This can affect a young girl who cannot understand why her father is distant, or mean, or acts strangely in some way.
Š Resentment of Dad by mother that is either taught to the daughter, or the daughter just copies it, distances the daughter from her father. This is also extremely common. She wakes up too late, often, to realize what she or her mother have done to her and how much she misses the love of her father that was, in fact, there for her. This is a common and sad refrain found in middle-aged women who have often had unhappy marriages and cannot figure out why.
Š Father may be a bad example – perhaps alcoholic, or a poor provider, or perhaps the cheating type. This can cause tremendous anger in a daughter. It can turn to hatred that separates the daughter from her father.
Š Lack of gentleness, or knowledge of how to handle a child. Some men simply do not know how to treat a daughter. This goes for some mothers as well. Women, however, tend to be a little gentler than men, which the children need, especially at a young age.
Š Some men do not like having children around, and this can be felt by the children easily. If a man does not like children, he should not have them. The same is true of women, of course.
Š Intense sexual attraction between father and daughter. This is often a karmic situation that needs resolution. It is a very delicate matter, as neither the girl nor her father fully understand the attraction and either may subtly encourage it, making it worse. The daughter might parade around scantily clad, for example, not realizing at all what the effect is on her dad. The man may also walk around with just a towel on, or less, not realizing how it affects his daughter. These are delicate matters to resolve carefully with the help of a counselor, if possible and if needed.
Š Fathers who physically or emotionally abuse their children, or vampirize them.
Š Other. For example, some fathers really wanted a boy, so they take it out on the girl child and perhaps even try to make her into his baseball partner or golf companion. Such aberrations are not uncommon and represent areas of immaturity on the father’s part.
LACK OF UNDERSTANDING OF MEN
Many women do not understand that men are somewhat biologically “programmed” to stare at their breasts and other areas, and that most men have a lot of trouble changing this programmed behavior. Hating men for it won’t change it.
Also, some women do not realize that men are also biologically programmed to reproduce. Also, women need to understand that most men do not know what love is about, and they confuse sexual desire with love. This is unfortunate, but many women turn around and hate men for it, when this is not the solution.
The solution is to understand biological programming. Then women will keep their bodies well-covered up and avoid tight clothing, lots of makeup, sexy outfits, flirting and other things women do. This will reduce the ways that women tempt men to “fall” for them, which in turn often makes women angry.
1. What is anger? Physically and biochemically speaking, anger is an adrenal glandular hormonal response that prepares the body to fight or run away. In other words, it is a body response that is a type of minor fight-or-flight response that prepares the body to actually fight or run from a perceived threat or attack.
Thus, becoming angry has similar effects on the body as does fighting or running away. The blood pressure rises, and the blood glucose or sugar level rises, along with insulin, to move more “fuel” into the muscles in preparation for a fight. Also, blood is shunted away from the digestive and eliminative organs. Instead, it is shunted to the head or brain, and to the muscles, again for the purpose of preparing the body for a fight.
This is fine in an emergency, and that is what it is for. However, when it becomes a common occurrence or worse, a lifestyle, it takes a toll on one’s health, which is why the subject of anger is so important to discuss openly and honestly.
2. What is anger on a psychological and spiritual level? Psychologically, anger is non-action, and instead it is always based upon projection of fear, or perhaps another negative emotion such as loneliness. This statement needs explaining.
Action versus projecting. When faced with a difficult situation, one can take action. This is a normal adrenal response. It is a non-reversed response to a situation that is bothering you.
However, another common response is to become angry, instead. This idea is called a reversal effect. Instead of dealing with an issue, one reverses it and tries to send the problem back outside of oneself, blaming others. In this sense, getting angry is a non-action response that seems like action, but really it is not.
Projection as reversal. The nature of all human beings is to project that which they do not want in their lives. To project something means to sort of spit it out of oneself, and assign it or give it to someone or something outside of oneself. This is the essential idea of projection.
For example, I lived in a remote agricultural village in Mexico some years ago for 6 months. The people’s life and livelihood depended upon the rain to water the corn crop. When it did not rain on time, the villagers did several interesting things. They believed that God or Jesus was angry with them, and they prayed to a saint to bring rain. They also became angry at another saint who was in charge of the weather in the neighboring village, and they believed it was his fault that the rains had not come.
This is an example of how projection works. The villagers were very uncomfortable with the lack of rain. Rather than stay with the discomfort, or perhaps take action such as installing a watering system, they projected the problem outside of themselves. They did this by asserting that it was God’s wrath upon them, or that it was the doing of a saint from another village.
In a similar fashion, all human beings tend to project their fears and worries outside of themselves in order to lessen the burden of fear that we all feel at times. We never really know if we will be safe, if we will have enough to eat, a place to live, and so on. Fear is a constant companion for human beings, even those who are wealthy and live in luxury.
To repeat the principle, if one is afraid of something, and does not like the feeling that result from fear, a common response is to project the cause of the fear outside of oneself. Then one can respond to the outside person or force at arm’s length, so to speak. That is much easier than keeping the feeling within. The body’s response to any threat or attack from outside is a mild adrenal hormonal fight-or-flight response that we call anger.
Projecting positive traits. Interestingly, most people also tend to project their greatness or extreme goodness that they do not feel worthy to own or keep for themselves. Instead, they assign it to special ones such as Jesus, Buddha, the president, perhaps, or someone else whom they admire. This is a variant on the same principle. They are basically uncomfortable with the truth about themselves, which might suggest or demand certain actions. So they “spit it out”, or reverse it, and give it to someone who they think better embodies goodness, greatness, unconditional love, or some other positive quality that the person does not want to admit about himself or herself. Too often, this is how the human mind works.
3. How does this relate to women versus men? One aspect is that women are more reversed and more fearful than men. More reversed is an esoteric concept having to do with yin and yang, copper and zinc, and other factors.
Women are more fearful than men for many reasons that I will list because they are important for women and men to understand:
A. Physical and anatomical reasons for fear in women. Women are physical smaller, lighter weight, and weaker in terms of muscles than men. They are thus more delicate creatures than men. This is just a fact. It is not good or bad. It is just the truth.
Also, due to their sexual apparatus, they are far more subject to being raped than men if they are attacked. This is a horror for all women and it is in their minds at all times.
They are also more physically attractive, which makes them subject to what may be called negative attention or ‘being hit upon’ by men.
In many cases, they are also less physically agile than men, so they are more awkward in running away or fighting. To make this worse, in addition, many women foolishly wear fashionable, but uncomfortable clothing that makes it harder for them to run away from attackers. This includes shoes with no arches or high heels, tight pants that make it hard to bend the body, tight blouses that restrict the body, and more. Some are even more foolish and wear revealing clothing that actually attracts the men’s eyes and bodies to them. This which puts the women in even more danger and fear, although they may not realize it. All of this contributes to fear physically.
B. Hormonal reasons for more fear. Female hormones cycle monthly, changing each day. This can be upsetting for young, menstruating women because some of them literally think and feel different on different days. Men do not have to deal with this hormonally-caused perception problem.
Men have more testosterone, a hormone that gives one a feeling of superiority, safety, and confidence. Women have more estrogens, hormones that increase copper and decrease zinc. This combination often gives rise to more spacey and less confident attitudes. This is explained more below.
C. Biochemical reasons for women’s greater level of fear. Women have much higher copper levels than men, and lower zinc levels, in most all cases. Copper stimulates the biogenic amines, which accentuate the emotions. Copper has other enzymatic effects that stimulate the diencephalon or old, animal brain. Meanwhile, men have less of this, and have more zinc in their bodies. Zinc tends to calm and balance the emotions.
Women also have a slower oxidation rate than men, in general. This is related to their hormone levels, particularly estrogen, which slows the oxidation rate, and other genetic factors. The effect is that their glandular system is more sluggish, and generates less energy than men’s glandular system, in general. As a result, women tend to be lower energy creatures than men. This also makes them more scared, as energy is a key to being able to fight back and/or run away from all threats and attacks upon them. This is a critical difference between men and women that is not appreciated nearly enough.
This is enough, I hope, to convince the reader that women are more fearful than men.
4. What does this have to do with anger? As explained above, the main method that everyone uses to deal with fear is to project it away from oneself, and then respond to it with anger. This is just a fact of life. Women have more fear, and therefore they are more prone to anger. This is the entire reason. It is not better or worse, it is just a fact about men and women.
Here are other reasons some women are prone to more anger than men.
LACK OF GROUNDING
Grounding means having your “feet on the earth”. It is a quality of maturity, but more so, it is a quality of spiritual development that usually requires specific exercises to develop.
Most women today have more trouble with grounding than men. This problem can easily engender anger when a woman realizes she is not clear about things, and life is not as she thought it was.
This is associated with a pattern on hair tests of sympathetic dominance, and possibly a calcium shell, or even four lows pattern. For more information, read Keeping Your Feet On The Ground on this website. Also read Meditation to learn how to become much more grounded and centered.
BIOLOGICAL DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN
These play a role in the problem of women’s anger as well. They include:
Higher copper and lower zinc. Women have higher copper levels and lower zinc levels than men. Copper enhances ALL the emotions, including anger.
In addition, many girls and women today are copper toxic. In other words, they are overloaded with copper. It begins with getting too much copper in utero from their copper-toxic mothers, today. It is made much worse by vaccines, medical drugs, especially antibiotics, poor quality and deficient diets, vegetarian-leaning diets, and later by the use of some birth control devices that increase copper such as the pill, the patch and the copper or pill IUD. For much more on copper, read Copper Toxicity Syndrome on this website.
RESENTING BEING WOMEN
Some women resent their gender. They resent being physically weaker, being treated not as well as men in some ways, and some resent the inconvenience, discomfort and emotional upset of their menstrual cycle.
Few leaders in most nations help women make sense of their unique gifts, abilities and role in life. This has gotten worse as men and women have abandoned traditional roles that at least used to give women more direction and a clear idea of their identity in society.
Every woman must work with these issues and find her true identity in a rapidly changing world with all sorts of strange teachings about sex, motherhood, womanhood and related issues. Until a woman does this, most become angry as their only response to their own confusion and that of most adults around them.
HIGHER INTELLIGENCE AND SPIRITUAL DEVELOPMENT
Many women are very intelligent and are extremely angry because they can see the truth about life around them better than their peers, especially their male peers. They handle this higher awareness or understanding by becoming angry with men and with the world, instead of reaching out, or at least having compassion for those who are less aware and less intelligent than themselves.
Some of these very aware young women ignore their own insights and wisdom. Instead, they “go with friends” who are less aware in order to be accepted or liked. However, their sensitivity and intelligence remains, and can lead to terrific anger as they watch others behave in irrational, immature, stupid or dangerous ways.
Others withdraw and just stew in their own anger, and often turn it inward, where it becomes depression. Still others speak out, but it is often with anger and rage, which is also not helpful and makes them worse.
The problem of the more intelligent and more spiritually aware young girls and women is probably the saddest plight. They are the most wonderful young people, whom one wishes to nourish and encourage in their quest for truth and real love. Unhappily, they are often found in dysfunctional homes so the parent do not understand them, they have few good friends, and little contact with spiritually-minded adults who can guide them properly.
Religious schooling or church attendance may help, but may not be enough. They really need a different kind of education, different friends, and adults around them who have a clear head and can see their potential and at least commiserate with them that, yes, most people in the world are very immature, very silly, and often live crazy, dangerous and insane lifestyles. If they had this, they would likely relax and just focus on their own lives and careers without as much anger.
FATIGUE, POOR DIETS AND UNHEALTHFUL LIFESTYLES
As mentioned above, women tend to be more delicate creatures than men, biologically, and they tend to be lower energy creatures to begin with. For this reason alone, they are more affected when they follow toxic and unhealthy diets and lifestyles. Many women, more than men, are thus exhausted and ill today, and this can result in anger.
WOMEN’S ANGER IS OFTEN HIDDEN BECAUSE WOMEN ARE LESS ACTION-ORIENTED THAN MEN
You may say, but how can it be true that women are more angry than men? Women are sweeter and kinder than men, women do not account for most crimes, and they certainly don’t rape anyone and rarely murder people. Women don’t tend to start wars the way men do, and women tend to be less competitive than men. This is all true.
However, these are actions, not anger, though they may be born of anger in some cases. These are simply actions.
Because of their body size, hormones, and biochemistry, women are not as action-oriented as men. They are weaker physically, so they don’t make as good robbers and rapists. They are less often presidents of nations, so they can’t start the wars. Most women stay at home or work in schools or offices, so their anger is expressed differently than that of men.
Action is a constructive response to a need or threat. Anger is simply an adrenal “preparatory action” in response to need or threat. Men, who are bigger and stronger, and who command more power in most societies, tend to respond with action. Women get angry, also, but do not act as much as men do. Men discharge their fears and their upsets through action. Women tend to discharge their fear through anger and perhaps turn it inward and become depressed.
This can cause some women to become irritable, “bitchy”, depressed, upset, or underhanded in their methods of hitting back against those whom they think have hurt them. This can be very subtle and hard to detect. Most of their anger is directed at their mates and their families, because this is where women live most of the time. A lot of their anger is also directed inward, where it causes suppression of emotions, depression and often diseases and emotional upset.