COUNSELING AND THE 7 SYSTEM
by Dr. Lawrence Wilson
© January 2019, L.D. Wilson Consultants, Inc.
If you counsel people, please read this article a number of times. The art of counseling is important, but not taught much, even in counseling graduate school programs.
Counseling skills are very important for development practitioners. In fact, most of the work of administering development programs has to do with teaching and counseling people.
This article uses the 7 system to describe common personality types that we encounter, and some tips about how to handle them.
PERSONALITY IMBALANCES AND THE 7 SYSTEM, AND HOW TO HANDLE THEM
#1 WEAK = TERRIFIED AND PERHAPS VERY SENSITIVE. This occurs when the first energy center is weak. These people are very worried and scared. They are also often very negative in their thinking and attitudes. This means they look on the dark side of everything almost exclusively. They always imagine the worst. Many are somewhat obsessive-compulsive, as well.
Lying. If these people lie to you, it is out of fear of telling the truth. It is not to confuse you or to cover up shame, for example, in most cases.
Prognosis. These people have a lot of trouble staying on a development program. If they do stay, they will express a lot of fear and worry. However, some get through it and then they are excellent clients.
Handling terrified. Stay positive because anything negative you say will be magnified 100 times, at least. For example, these people may ignore all positive statements you make, but will focus on the one negative thing you say.
Humor may be helpful, but not frivolous humor. If these people will stay on their development program for a few weeks to a few months, often things will get much better as they retrace old traumas and let them go.
These people need to learn to “swim in the mud” or “roll with the waves”. So help them do this by explaining things simply and humorously, and help them to heal so they are less negative and less sensitive.
Love in action – Care deeply for the body and mind. Love at this level means really paying attention to and caring for the body and mind so that one survives and thrives. This involves one’s diet, where one lives, whom one associates with, and one’s lifestyle, in general.
This is an area of self-love in which many people fall short. Yet it is essential for all the other levels of love in action. Many people ignore their diet, have a sloppy lifestyle with unclean habits, and do not pay enough attention to the care of their body and brain.
As a result, they remain fearful, and they do not see the connection between their fear and their lifestyle. They often sicken and die young, or have accidents and other unfortunate experiences that discourage them and stop development.
#1 BACKWARDS = PREDATORS. This occurs when the first energy center spins backwards. These people are selfish and take more than they give, even if it appears different.
Lying. These people lie to get what they want. They usually do not have man scruples or desire to tell the truth.
Prognosis. These people do not do well on a development program. It requires more effort than they are willing to make.
Handling predators. This is difficult because they are used to taking advantage of others. One must be careful and not offer too much. One must also check often to see if the predator is fulfilling his or her side of the therapy contract.
Love in action – giving is necessary as a way of life.
#2 WEAK = EMOTIONAL, OFTEN VERY SENSITIVE AND PERHAPS SEXY. This is another difficult type of client. There may be a history of sexual or other abuse, although the person often will not tell you about it because it is a source of shame and perhaps guilt.
Energy center. This situation is often related to an imbalance involving the second energy center.
Lying. If these clients lie, it is often to cover or compensate for emotional weakness. For example, they may say they love you, or they love their parents, which is not really true. They mean they are lonely, perhaps, and want companionship.
Some people suppress their feelings so much and won’t talk about it that they become severely depressed or ill. Others give up their principles and their health for momentary pleasures such as alcohol, marijuana or too much or improper sex. The latter is a form of lying to oneself.
A man or woman with this imbalance may tell another that he or she loves the other in order to get the other to have sex. One might also use this phrase in order to get another to marry one, mainly for emotional support or sexual reasons.
Prognosis. These cases are often very chronic and need years to heal the mind and perhaps the body. Development will help, but the person must do the program. This is not easy for them because the program will bring up their traumas and abuse issues.
Handling sexy. This is not easy. As a counselor you must keep your distance. Do not become involved in a personal relationship with these individuals, as this can be dangerous for you and for the other person! Stay somewhat detached and aloof, and just offer guidance gently and nicely, as much as possible.
Love in action - Feel and seek out what is right and good. Counselors need to remind people to act and think in moral, simple, and wholesome ways. They also need to tell those who just suppress feelings that this does not work. However, having feelings does not mean one needs to act on them. It is fine to just observe feelings, without either denying them or acting upon them.
Remind people that many feelings come from a mixed up body chemistry – from depression and anger to sexual preferences and sexual identity. Acting on the feelings is not the answer. Correcting their body chemistry with a development program is the answer.
#2 BACKWARDS = DISCONNECTED. This is quite common, especially in women. The personality is always selfish, as in #1 above. They will use sex and emotion to get what they want, for example.
Lying. These people lie easily if it is convenient. They have few scruples about telling the truth.
Prognosis. These people usually do not stay on a development program for long because it is more work than they wish to do.
Handling a reversed second center. This is not easy. A development program will slowly correct the problem, and this is best.
Love in action – emotional control helps these people not to be so selfish.
#3 WEAK = ANGRY, AND PERHAPS MEAN TO YOU. This situation is common, and can represent transference, meaning that the client transfers his or her dislike for a parent, often, to you, the counselor. This is projection. It is always incorrect, but this may not be easy for the person to understand.
Energy center. This personality type often has an imbalance in the third energy center.
Lying. If this person lies to you, it is usually out of anger.
Prognosis. This is variable, depending on how angry the person is, and if he or she can get past the projection problem.
Handling angry. Stay as calm as possible! It does no good with these people to react and become defensive. If the situation seems dangerous or too unpleasant, tell the person that he or she needs to work with someone else. Never put yourself in an unsafe situation!!
Explain that you treat people with respect, and if the client cannot do this, then you cannot work together. This is a must! No matter what happens, both you and the client must always treat each other with honor and respect. If this does not happen after a few reminders, we would send the person to another practitioner.
Assuming the person calms down, (and the development program can help), then things will generally get better, and the projection will become less.
This type of anger is different than when a person is going through a purification reaction and feels angry for this reason. The latter is usually transient and is over quickly. The former is a deep type of anger and perhaps immaturity that is more chronic.
Love in action - Keep the ego in check, and anger is fear that I project. This is an area of self-love that is difficult for some people. Remind clients that we need to accept ourselves FROM where we are, and not AS we are.
Accepting yourself as you are means you don’t want to change anything - you’re okay as you are, even if you are mean and evil, for example.
Accepting yourself from where you are means that you are realistic and accepting of yourself, but you realize that you need to change and not just stay the same as you are now.
We are all works in progress. Many people believe that loving and caring for oneself means one can indulge in egotistical thought and behavior. Nothing could be further from the truth.
An important truth is that all anger is a reaction to underlying fear. Rather than feel fear all the time, which is unpleasant, the ego projects it outward as anger. Thus, whenever anger arises, remind clients to ask themselves, “What am I afraid of?” Done properly, this will control anger.
#3 BACKWARDS = VERY CONTROLLING. This is quite common. It is usually the result of early childhood trauma. Controlling others and situations is often a compensation for feeling out of control of one’s life.
Lying. These people will lie in order to maintain control. They are not truthful people, so they lie a lot.
Prognosis. These people usually do not stay with a development program because they do not want to make the effort.
Handling a controller. This takes practice. It is often best not compete with the controller. Just offer help. If they want it, they will take it.
Love in action – giving is the opposite of taking.
#4. WEAK = NON-COMMUNICATIVE. This is also somewhat common. It is a person who just does not stay in touch, or who does not communicate well. This causes a lot of confusion for the counselor or practitioner.
Energy Center. This personality type generally has an imbalance involving the fourth energy center located in the middle of the chest. It has to do with give and take, and relating easily to others in a non-intimate way.
Lying. If these people lie, it is called an exchange lie. This means they may try to set up a conversation or situation in which they say “If you do this for me, I will do that for you.”
However, it is not always honest. This just is the area in which they are weak, and may not be able to be as honest about it as some other people.
In terms of love, most of us love those who love us. Those who are different, unusual, difficult to get along with or mean in some way are much harder to love in this way.
Prognosis. While some are difficult to work with, others are not too difficult if you can figure out how the person likes to communicate.
Handling poor communicators. This is frustrating. You must try different methods to reach the person such as email, telephone, or perhaps texting. Gentle reminders are very good. It is okay to be quite firm with these people, as they are not as delicate and negative as the three types above.
#4. BACKWARDS = SELFISH AND DISCONNECTED. This is common, especially in women who are not developed. They may appear very social and they may stay in touch well. However, they are not really in touch properly and one can often feel this about them. They are scared, underneath, in many cases, so they keep their distance from others.
Lying. These people may lie by saying that they like you or even love you when really they have no intention of connecting with you deeply.
Prognosis. This is not easy to correct. It takes time and a loving relationship, in most cases.
Love in action - Love others, and love everyone equally. Encourage clients to think in terms of tolerance and slowly to learn to love everyone equally. This is the ideal way to conduct your social life.
Safety, of course, must be a prime consideration, especially for women. So “loving everyone” does not mean associating with everyone, or even being willing to speak with everyone. It is more of an attitude about others.
#5. WEAK = NEEDY. This is another very common situation for counselors. These are people who need to communicate, talk, email or text every day, often, or at least several times per week. If they are short messages, it is not too bad. If the messages become long and involved, it can be difficult to handle.
Energy center. These people often have an imbalance involving the fifth energy center, located around the thyroid gland in the neck. It has to do with expression and creativity. Often, these people feel stifled and uncreative.
Lying. If these people lie to you, it is so they will look good. They may also exaggerate, which is confusing.
Prognosis. If you handle the frequent communications correctly, this can work out okay.
Handling Needy. Some tips are:
- Tell the person you are very busy and can only read short emails or be on the phone for up to 10-15 minutes, and no more.
- If the above does not work, then explain that you must charge extra to this person for your time, and charge at least $60.00 per hour. Do not compromise if they complain that it is too much. If you compromise, you may well feel abused and resentful, and this is not helpful.
- When messages come in via email or phone, answer them quickly with a short answer. However, don’t ignore the messages unless you want to end your relationship with them.
- Usually, an arrangement can be made that will work for both of you – such as charging extra for your time or limiting the length and frequency of emails. However, if it just seems impossible to work something out, then it is best to tell the person you would prefer not to work with them and they should find another Helper.
Love in action - Give service. Explain to clients that they will feel real joy and happiness by serving and assisting others. This means providing what others need, even if you don’t always enjoy doing it.
This is difficult for many people to grasp, but essential for development and even for financial success. To be prosperous, giving service is a great key. Capitalism or free market economics teaches this principle and this is one of the reasons we love this economic philosophy.
#5. BACKWARDS = UNCREATIVE. This is a less common problem for counselors because these people can function in society with few problems. However, they are bored with work, and often unproductive at work. They might consult for this reason.
Lying. These people can lie that they love their work, when really they do not. They often do not understand why they don’t want to work at all, or are often distracted.
Prognosis. These people can be helped by assisting them to do creative projects.
Love in Action. I can create many things.
#6. WEAK = WEAK MIND. This is a difficult situation, but one that is common today due to nutritional problems. Thinking is foggy and the mind does not work well.
Lying. These people can lie because they are embarrassed about their inability to think clearly.
Prognosis. They need a development program or they are not likely to get well.
Love in Action. I use my mind for seeking and understanding the truth about everything.
#6. BACKWARDS = RESEARCHERS. These individuals often spend time on the internet, or reading books or magazines about nutrition and healing. They become confused, as will anyone who is exposed to all the many opinions and points of view in books, on television, and on the internet.
Energy center. These people tend to have an imbalance involving the sixth energy center, which is located between the eyebrows.
Lying. If these individuals lie to you, it is because they have read something different than what you have told them, and they prefer that “truth”, and don’t want to confront you with this fact. This is called an intellectual lie.
Often, they are arrogant and believe you are stupid or ignorant compared with some doctor on the internet, perhaps, or in comparison with them. They don’t really honor you so they may lie rather than discuss their beliefs openly.
Prognosis. Some of these people come around to our way of thinking. Others become lost in the confusion that permeates the internet and the media today. They will not continue on our program, and instead will go to other practitioners or design their own program.
Handling the researchers. Remind them that:
- There are many opinions on the internet.
- We are not too interested in theories. We are observers of what works for development.
- We have almost 40 years of experience.
- We have worked with close to 100,000 people with this program.
- If we suggest stopping or avoiding a product, procedure or food, there is a good reason for it.
- Development is the goal of our work. This is different from almost all other healing programs.
- Designing one’s own program usually does not work.
- Refer the person to the article on this website entitled Internet Research, which directly addresses this issue. It may or may not help.
- You can also tell them that we are here if they decide to try a different program and then want to return to a development program.
Some will listen and others will not. A number of clients come back to us after trying a different program.
Love in action - Think About Truth. The sixth center is in the frontal area of the brain, where thinking occurs. Remind people that we seek to live the truth, at all times. This is not easy in the scientific realm today.
We also practice “tough love”, which means don’t compromise and combine programs. It does not work. We seek to do the right thing for you, not what is convenient, popular or easy.
#7. WEAK = DISCONNECTED, DIRECTIONLESS, SPACEY, FOGGY. This is also a common counseling situation today. These people often do not have a good memory and do not think clearly or logically. They often need things repeated, and still may not understand or be able to follow suggestions.
Energy centers. This situation is often associated with an imbalance involving the seventh energy center, located at the crown of the head. The seventh energy center connects one with the divine, the oversoul, or Holy Spirit. This is the ultimate goal of development programs.
Lying. If this person lies, it is usually because they do not recall what they said earlier and may be confused. Some will lie just to confuse you, but this is not as common. Most are just mixed up.
Prognosis. These people really need a development program. Some will follow through. Others just cannot stay focused enough to remain on a program.
Handling disconnected and spacey or foggy. These people need firm guidance. It must be polite, but very firm and clear for them.
For a while, they may need a lot of support in the form of firm but gentle reminders, notes about how well they are doing, and clear feedback for them.
Love in action - Integrity, and BEING Truth And Love. Remind people to live their program as much as possible. Focus on their connection with the divine, and not on what other people or the media have to say.
Integrity means integrated and consistent. It means living the program, no matter what others say or do. This level of love is also a culmination of all of the other centers or ideas in this article.
#7. BACKWARDS = STRANGE IDEAS, ESPECIALLY AS THEY RELATE TO RELIGION AND PHILOSOPHY. This is very common today, although these people usually function adequately, so they don’t often consult a counselor with problems.
Lying. Lying is easy for these people due to an impaired 7th energy center. The lies often have to do with logical inconsistencies in their philosophical ideas. Because of this, one really cannot reason with these people.
Prognosis. They can improve if the brain and the 7th center are improved. A development program will do this, but the problem is getting the person to follow the program.
Love in Action. I love truth and integrity.