LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS – AN ENERGETIC VIEW
by Lawrence Wilson, MD
© August 2010, The Center For Development
This article presents an understanding of love and relationships based on the chakra system of the body. This is the basic energetic structure of the human body. The chakras are spinning vortices of subtle energy that run up the midline of the human body. While they cannot be seen by most people, they can often be felt by those who are somewhat sensitive.
They are basic nerve centers that literally power the human body and even contribute to the creation of a human being. While not well understood in Western medicine and culture, they are commonly understood in the older cultures of the Orient. I will not dwell on them in this article, as they are discussed in more detail in an article entitled The Chakras on this web site.
The basic idea of this article is that people operate and live from one or more of the chakra centers or levels. To a surprising degree, this will determine their basic orientation, desires, wants, actions and even their general level of happiness and joy. If one understands this well enough, one can develop a map, of sorts, to guide you in moving in the direction of greater joy and happiness for yourself, your family, your friends and lovers, and for all of humanity. Here is the basic map.
FIRST CHAKRA LOVE – A SURVIVAL RELATIONSHIP
The first or lowest chakra on the physical human body is concerned mainly with survival. The chakra is located around the anal opening, and it usually points downward, fanning out like a tutu or ballerina’s dress. It is reddish in color in healthy people, though in most people it is a dull, dark red or even grey.
It is the first chakra to develop in most people and it has to do with obtaining the necessities of the body such as food, warmth, light and a certain amount of material wealth to sustain oneself.
The most selfish chakra. In the area of relationships, this chakra is almost totally selfish. It is usually not selfish in order to harm others, but simply to take care of one’s own needs. It is therefore not too oriented toward loving relationships except in so far as they bring to oneself needed material safety and security. Sadly, this is where most people in the world live, most of the time. They are concerned with earning a living, making ends meet, paying the bills, feeding the family, caring for the children as best they can, and other survival issues.
Children. Young children live in this chakra almost all of the time. They are here to be taken care of, mostly, as they grow and develop their bodies and minds. They are quite dependent upon the adults in their lives, so they “love” their parents and siblings who take care of them. Later, they “love” their teachers and their friends who they also perceive as taking care of them.
Women and this type of relationship. Women are often somewhat more oriented in this way, as traditionally they have not held jobs outside of the home that bring in material wealth. Today, however, this is changing throughout the world, and particularly in Western nations, as women move out of the home and into more and more workplace jobs and activities.
This has been a mixed blessing, of course, but overall it helps women to feel more independent of men, and therefore ultimately is best. The negative effects have mostly been on children, family, marriage and on women’s own health because women’s bodies are not as tough as men’s, in general, so the effects of overwork, poor working conditions, not enough home-cooked food and other effects of working have taken a great toll on some working women. This problem will be worked out in time, but for now it is a huge problem that is giving rise to more autism, ADD, ADHD and other serious problems in the children today.
SECOND CHAKRA LOVE – A DECIDEDLY SEXUAL ORIENTATION
The second chakra, located just below the navel and extending outward toward the front and the back of the body, is concerned with primitive one on one relationships, mainly revolving around sexual attraction. This is another very common type of relationship in modern society. It is the relationship that most people think they want, even those who have moved way past this chakra in their spiritual development.
A slightly less selfish chakra. The second chakra energy is still very selfish. It may reach out to others to a degree, but usually only because it feels it something to gain by doing so. This is a common style in business relationships, at times, or in personal and even religious behavior. While there is some giving, the object of the relationship is mostly to see what one can get or take from another.
Many, especially young women, are fooled by this kind of behavior into thinking they are “loved” when they are really being used in some way. Of course, it is a two-way street, meaning that if one takes the bait, usually it is because the victim also thinks he or she will get something from the relationship.
Unconscious sexual drive is not very loving. The second chakra type of love is closely related to the first chakra type because the second chakra is also concerned about survival but, in this case, it is survival of the race and the species. It is also largely “mechanical” or “automatic”, meaning it does not involve much conscious thought or spiritual development. This is confusing, especially for women who don’t understand why the boys “love them” so much when they know they are not that great or perfect. It is because the men and boys are motivated by their hormones, basically, and it is not a conscious or well thought-out type of loving or caring.
People in this type of mindset or frame of mind are most concerned with sexual attraction, sexual joy and pleasure and often in producing children. It is the dominant form of relationship between men and women, of course, and often the dominant form in families with children.
Second chakra loving the most deceptive of all. A lot of behaviors motivated by second chakra energy may appear loving but is not really love at all, but just a form of biological attraction controlled by all sorts of subtle cues such as the shape of the body, the smells of the body, the feel of the bodies, the sound of the voice and many others.
It is the stuff of romance novels, but in reality it is mainly confusing for people who do not have a clue as to why they are attracted to some and less so to others. It is more about these attractions and repulsions than it is about love of any kind. This is important to learn early in life so that you won’t be as subject to it. However, all of mankind is subject to the lower forces, at least until you understand them well enough that you can get past them quickly.
THIRD CHAKRA LOVE – POWER AND CONTROL IN SOCIAL AND OTHER RELATIONSHIPS
The third chakra, located above the navel but below the nipples at the level of the solar plexus, is most concerned with power and control, ideas and beliefs, and survival at a more intellectual and power-over-others level.
This chakra is quite active in most adults in modern societies around the world. As a result, it influences most relationships to a significant degree.
It is still a very selfish type of orientation, but more on an intellectual rather than sexual level. It always involves control, power, ego, habits of living that one likes or does not enjoy, and often it is about lording it over another person for the sheer joy of knowing one can do this.
Once again, it is about survival, but about a type of survival that has more to do with interacting with others in such a manner that you come out ahead and the other person is your subordinate or better yet, your little slave. In other words, it is not about equals.
This type of relationship is seen often in marriages, and even more often in a typical business arrangement, government bureaucracies, and other hierarchical structures such as church hierarchies, governmental bodies that rule from above, the military, and many others.
FOURTH CHAKRA LOVE – A NEW BEGINNING, AND FRIENDSHIP BEGINS
The fourth chakra or energy center is at the level of the heart or the nipples, approximately, but along the center line of the body. Interestingly, it is more in the shape of a complex flower, whereas the others are more in the shape of cones.
The fourth chakra is a turning point for human beings. It has to do with interpersonal relationships in a new way. Instead of being survival oriented, it begins a process whereby a human being gives more than he or she takes. This is a huge difference that impacts relationships immensely.
Those who operate from this level, which is relatively few people in society, are more oriented toward giving in relationships. It does not matter if the relationship is with an intimate partner, your family, friends, business, governmental or other. The emphasis now begins to be upon what can I contribute or give to others, rather than how must I act to survive.
This shift causes relationships to be much smoother and happier, which is why this scheme of understanding relationships is so important. When two people, or two nations, or even two armies of soldiers, do their best to give instead of to take from one another, peace begins to descend upon relationships and upon the planet.
Love begins to blossom for the first time because no one is trying to take anything from another. Instead, each is looking out for the other, however imperfectly, at first. This causes quite a shift in human beings’ lives and behaviors, affects children deeply, and eventually causes the creation of a society based upon love and giving, not upon war and despoiling other societies.
Much has been written about the fourth chakra. It is about real give and take between people, whether they be friends, sexual partners, business associates or even nations. It is about being an equal to another person. It is about sharing in a real way because you are secure enough that you don’t feel you need to manipulate or position yourself to gain advantage.
This does not mean that you allow yourself to be used or manipulated. In fact, for a true fourth chakra relationship to occur, both parties must be self-sufficient or at least secure enough that they know how to protect themselves and not allow another to take advantage. Then they can relax and enjoy the other’s company on an equal type of footing.
This does not mean both people need to be wealthy, for example, or beautiful. In fact, it has little to do with outside or superficial qualities such as these. It has far more to do with a person’s sense of himself or herself – a sense of self-worth or value.
Fourth chakra relationships are often what the psychology experts seek for in their clients. They are equal relationships with good give and take, some humor, perhaps, and an easy-going feeling or quality about the relationship. These qualities can apply to intimate relationships between men and women, to families, to business relationships, or elsewhere.
How to love in a fourth chakra manner. The key to successful fourth chakra loving is self worth. One must have a good sense of one’s own worth or value. Otherwise it is impossible to feel equal in stature with others. This is a great key since otherwise one cannot move on to the higher levels of love described below.
FIFTH CHAKRA LOVE – A CREATIVE ORIENTATION
The fifth physical chakra is located at the level of the throat and thyroid gland. It resembles a double funnel, with the small ends joined at the throat, and extending forward and backwards in most people from several inches to many miles in size. It is concerned with expression of a creative nature.
Love on this level builds upon the key ingredient of the fourth chakra, namely learning how to give in relationships. Fifth chakra relationships are even more rare on the planet, and may be found mainly among scientists, for example, or inventors who cooperate with each other to solve a problem such as putting a man on the moon, or curing a disease. It is sometimes seen in professional people who are doctors or accountants, who really care about their clients or patients in a very directed manner.
Here the love is not very personal or sexual, though there can be a little of this present. Instead, it is about giving in a more creative, thoughtful and directed manner. One must use one’s head, in other words, and not just give randomly or sloppily to others.
Personal relationships that are built upon this type of love are usually orderly and neat, functional and easy-going. Often the participants show each other some “tough love” at times. This is because each is looking out for the other more than for himself. This is in contrast to the “friends” type of fifth chakra relationship that is more about just enjoying another person in an equal way.
The fifth chakra energy of relationship is more therapeutic, one might say. In other words, it is not just about give and take, as is the fifth chakra energy. Instead, each participant is actually trying to be of service to the other or others, and not just giving randomly in a way that may not really be helpful for the other.
This type of relationships are not that common, but the idea is growing as people seek more fulfilling relationships. This is often what people are really looking for – one who will really care about the other, and not be selfish, and not just give to the other randomly, but actually figure out or discuss what is best for each other’s well being, health and joy.
Fifth chakra love needed for mental and spiritual development. This type or level of relationship is also increasing because it is needed for the survival of the spiritual part of a human being. Human beings are here to do much more than make money, raise a family, have friendships or have other relationships. Mental or spiritual development, as the words are used in this website, is a very specific process in which the chakra centers begin to spin faster and grow larger. It is discussed in a number of articles on this website.
This development is happening more and more today, often automatically and unconsciously. It has to do with unfolding of amazing abilities and talents, extremely loving behavior, better health and a longer, happier life. This, and nothing else, is what I mean by mental or spiritual development. In fact, it has little or nothing to do with family, friends, making money or other “worldly” aspects of life. It is almost entirely an internal matter that is achieved easily using a nutritional balancing program, for example, to balance the body properly.
To move into this development fully, however, most people need to know that those around oneself really care and are loving. This is where fifth chakra love is helpful. It can teach others, especially children, that someone really cares and is always looking our for you. This is a great reason for the development of true fifth chakra relationships.
SIXTH CHAKRA LOVE – MORE UNIVERSAL RELATIONSHIPS, AND LOVING IN A MORE IMPERSONAL AND BROAD WAY
The sixth chakra is also called the third eye. It is located roughly between the eyebrows in the middle of the head. It looks somewhat like a lighthouse beam of light, extending widely in front and in back of the person’s head.
Love that truly comes from this level is very rare, indeed. It is a kind of love that is mixed with more wisdom and knowledge. We often associate it with perhaps the love of a wise grandmother or grandfather, perhaps, because this chakra only develops in some people, and usually later in life. It is rare that it develops much before the age of 50 or 60.
The wisdom that it brings is cherished by all, at least by those who can appreciate it. This is the reason that many native American tribes and other indigenous groups always were ruled by a council of elders, for example. They believed, usually correctly, that the elders had more wisdom than the young people and they would be more even-handed and just, and less selfish and influenced by their lower chakras and lower emotions.
Love that is at this level can often be felt by its rather totally selfless quality. It is more universal as well, meaning it is not directed at just one person. It is often self-sacrificing, at times, in order to be fair and just. Lady liberty, the statue of liberty, and paintings of justice as blind are based on the idea that all are brothers and sisters, and all must be treated equally regardless of their wealth, stature, color, race, etc.
Universal love. As one moves up the levels, the love one feels and expresses becomes more the same for everyone, which of course includes the one you are living with or your own children, for example. However, one also begins to feel love for all children and all people in the same kind of way.
This, by the way, is very different from a popular type of love today that loves “the downtrodden”. This is often a rebellious kind of second or third-chakra love that is often very angry with the authorities, rich people, or others who do not agree with them. Just “loving the poor, the abused or the discriminated against” is thus not necessarily fifth chakra love at all. The simple test is whether the person actually loves the filthy rich or the very selfish power-hungry vampire-like person who is doing the abusing just about as much as he or she loves the poor person.
Loving all souls equally is actually a very difficult task for most people. Most are prone to favor those who are closest to them, such as family members, friends or lovers. Others are prone to love more those who agree with their point of view, or those whom they can use in some way.
SEVENTH CHAKRA LOVE – EVEN MORE UNIVERSAL
The seventh physical chakra is also funnel-shaped. Much later it looks like a ball of light at that part of the head. This chakra begins at the pineal gland in the middle of the head, and it widens out as it moves upward, usually emerging through the crown or even the back of the head. It can form what looks like a halo around the head, and this is depicted in many paintings of Jesus and the saints.
This chakra literally connects a person to the higher self, God, guides and angels. In so doing, it brings with it an even higher type of love and wisdom to a human being. It also completes a cycle on the physical plane of existence and prepares a person for another type of life that may be called a life based upon love alone.
As a result, love takes on a different meaning at this level. Instead of love being a separate activity, split off from other aspects of one’s life, it becomes the focus of one’s life. One literally lives in order to love. Love becomes one’s reason for living and one’s obsession, one might say.
This is an even more selfless type of love, more non-sexual and more non-possessive. It is about seeing how much you can assist others in their spiritual journey through life, and assist yourself as well, since you must always include yourself in the circle of your loving.
This does not mean that one gives away all of one’s time or money. It is more about one’s attitude toward others and toward life, in general. One realizes that life is rich and full, and one need not seek for love, or for riches or friends. If one focuses on giving out love as service, love will be returned tenfold.
In the past, most who lived at this level had to live in monasteries for protection, and most still live in caves in India and the Himalayas, again for protection. Today, however, some are able to live in the general society, often by themselves or perhaps in a simple relationship or even in a family setting. These are the sweet, gentle souls who long only to be the presence of love on the planet. They do their best in whatever way they know how. It is the highest expression of love that is available on the planet.
Children today often born with some seventh chakra activity. For various reasons, some children today are being born with some opening or activity of the seventh chakra. They are generally sweet children, though many are sadly diagnosed with ADD or even autism due mainly to nutritional imbalances. They may also have a tough time in a “normal”, which is really quite a dysfunctional earth family. This can cause them to rebel, disobey, or they just act out as a way to balance the energy of the family. This is generally mistaken for ADHD, or even other disorders such as obsessive-compulsive disorder.
These children are future leaders of society who can think and imagine a society in terms of universal love. While in most cases the seventh chakra does not open until late in life, in these children it is forced open early. While they may suffer as a result, they become great educators, leaders and wise teachers as a result of this fact of their development.
HOW TO APPLY THIS RELATIONSHIP MAP TO YOURSELF
Here is a review of the sections above, to make it easier to apply it to yourself:
Chakra 1 – A survival relationship
Chakra 2 – Mainly a sexual relationship
Chakra 3 – Mainly about power, control and manipulation of self and others.
Chakra 4 – A new beginning, with some deep friendship involved.
Chakra 5 – A new beginning of creativity in relationship.
Chakra 6 – A new beginning of more universal love for everyone, regardless of who he or she is, or what a person does to you or to others.
Chakra 7 – An even more universal type of selfless and non-possessive loving for all and for the planet herself.
With this chart in mind, look carefully at your life. Try to assess your motives, and the motives of those around you. The idea is not so much to judge yourself or others, but to learn to discern where people are coming from, as the saying goes.
Are they interested in second chakra love, which is mainly sex, or are they interested in third chakra love, which has to do with control and power over others? Perhaps you know someone who is really involved in fourth or even fifth chakra love, which is really looking out for others – not in a selfish way at all, but because they realize at some deep level that we are all one. Therefore, if one helps others, one helps oneself at the same time.
This kind of “love analysis” will help you greatly in your relationships, and it will eventually help you to be truly happy. Lower chakra love does not bring much happiness. That which it does bring is temporary and insecure, and can change in a moment. It is the stuff of drama and the television news. It is the romance that is destroyed in an instant by another’s unfaithful or lying behavior.
In contrast, the higher chakra type of love is often quiet and behind the scenes. However, it is far more enduring, unable to be hurt or stopped, and does far more for one’s self esteem and friendships than anything else one can do. Think about it carefully as you go through your day and interact with people at work, at play and at home.
Words are not the same as actions. An important caution in your love analysis is not to listen to people’s words, but rather take notice only of their actions. Words are too easy to fake, or use for manipulation, and words are often just confused or misunderstand. For example, when someone says “I love you”, or an equivalent, it has an entirely different meaning depending upon which chakra level the person is at.
For example, for one who lives mainly in the first chakra energy, “I love you” means thank you for taking care of me. For a second chakra energy person, it means I find you sexually exciting. For one who lives in a third chakra energy, it may mean “I enjoy my power and control over you”. It might also mean “I love manipulating you for my pleasure and gain”.
For the fourth chakra energy person, it means “I enjoy our give and take, perhaps our conversation, or just friendship”.
For the few who live in the upper chakra energies, it can mean something entirely different. For the fifth chakra person, the words “I love you” may signify that “I see that you are a child of god, and I want to create beautiful things with you, perhaps a child”. However, it could even be to create a beautiful business, or company or factory.
For the sixth chakra person, ‘I love you’ may mean that I see “the face of Christ in you”, no matter who you are, and no matter what you are doing, even if I think you are an idiot and a monster. It means I am here to assist you in your spiritual development, even if it means that you run from me and resent my help. That does not matter to me, as I am sure of who I am and I don’t need your friendship or your lower chakra attention, acceptance, or “love”.
And for the person living in seventh chakra energy, the words ‘I love you’ can mean something even greater. It can mean that you and I are one, at the highest level. As I do unto you, I do unto myself, or as the bible states, “As you do unto the least of them, so you do unto Christ Jesus”.
Figuring out at which chakra level is each person in your life, where your leaders and politicians are, where your nation is as a whole, and where your religion is, is one of the most valuable lessons and teachings that you will ever find.
Begin now and you will develop your expertise even faster.