by Lawrence Wilson, MD

REPENTANCE

The word repentance is an interesting one. It is found throughout the Hebrew and Christian bibles, but is not used in general conversation very much. The reason for this article is that repentance or repenting is actually a very important psychological process that more people need to do.

A definition of repentance. To repent means to engage in a very special mental process for the purpose of making a change of some kind in your life. It really does not matter what the change is about. It is not necessarily about stopping some “sin”, in a biblical sort of way. It could be about eating a better diet, or perhaps learning not to exaggerate when you speak with people.

Repenting, to be effective, must involve a special awareness and a decision-making process that is important to really make deep and lasting changes in your life. For sure, it takes some courage, insights, wisdom and determination.

Repentance also means to feel badly about your past in some way, and to begin again to move in a different and healthier direction. The word repentance is related to the words penitence and penitentiary. A jail used to be called a penitentiary. It meant a place where one goes to make penitence, or to repent.

WHY IS REPENTANCE IMPORTANT?

It is important because without going through the process of repentance, you will never really understand your past and feel sorry for what you have done. As a result, your efforts to change yourself will tend to be quite limited. This may sound odd, but it is true. Unless you know what you did was wrong, deeply, in your heart, how can you know exactly how to change? The answer is you cannot.

You can say you will do better, but how do you know what this means unless you are clear about what you did incorrectly, your intent to change for the better, and your sincere effort to follow through with this intention. Even more is required for repentance, as explained below.

THE STEPS TO REPENTING

Here are the basic steps:

1. The first is to understand clearly what you did, how you behaved, or how you spoke or acted. This is often not clear to many people who see things in a jaded or confused or lying fashion.

As part of this, you must recognize or understand, at least partially, the effects of your action or speech upon yourself and upon others, and even upon nature or other beings. These first two steps are basically about increasing your awareness of your past.

How to increase your awareness of the problem. You must become fully aware of how you have not acted or thought or believed properly. This, of course, is not always easy because it can be difficult to see our own thinking process and behaviors for what they really are. Having a friend or partner to help you become aware can be most helpful, but only if the other wants to tell you the truth, and if you are willing to listen and take heed.

Another method to increase awareness is to pray and ask for guidance. When you do this, life has a way of showing you what you need to do, even if it is painful at times. Some prayers also function as affirmations to remind you how you wish to be and how you wish to think about things.

Another common method to increase awareness is to obtain counseling or attend meetings or join a support group that discusses your issue. Still another is to read and study books, or read articles on this website. You can also listen to audio material or watch video programs about the subject or behavior you wish to change in order to reprogram and inform yourself fully.

Still another method to increase awareness drastically is the proper type of concentration or meditation exercise. This is one reason that nutritional balancing science recommends the simple, but very effective Roy Masters meditation exercise, but not others. It is an awareness and concentration exercise that helps one to observe the mind calmly, without judging anything. This is a powerful way to learn about yourself and your behaviors that is often easier than listening to the advice of others, for example. This exercise can be done in the privacy of your home and it will slowly and gently reveal hidden thoughts, hidden emotions, and much more for you to observe, process in some cases, and then dismiss when you have completed the process. For more on this topic read Meditation For Healing on this website.

Finally, life itself, if you observe yourself and others closely enough, can give you clues as to how and why you need to change your ways.

2. Then you must conclude or realize that this action or words or behavior was wrong, and why it was wrong. Ways in which one’s behavior or speech or other action may be wrong or improper include, for example, it may be malicious, devious, stupid, dangerous, insane, hurtful to self or others, silly or frivolous, fraudulent, lying, despicable, violent or inciting to violence, or even just confusing to oneself or others.

3. Then, when this is understood fully, you must feel badly about the whole thing. This is a very special quality of mind. It is not exactly or only feeling guilty. It is realizing that your actions or speech, or something else you did or failed to do not only harmed yourself and others, but was against the will of God or spirit. As a God-centered being, which you are even if you don’t believe it, you will realize that you were out of order and must change.

At an energetic level, repentance is a change of direction of the mind. This is the key. Wrong action is a reversal of good and truth. Repentance is moving in the opposite direction firmly and clearly, with no intent or desire or interest in ever going back to the old ways or old behavior or speech.

4. Develop a desire and intention to change your behavior, attitudes or whatever needs changing. In order to change, one must develop a sincere desire to do so. This must accompany your new awareness of the problem or item that needs changing.

The problem of inertia. Developing a strong desire for something is often not easy because we all have a certain inertia that keeps us moving in the old direction, no matter what we say we want. This inertia is powerful because it involves the brain, the nervous system, the chemistry of the body itself, the structure of the body, the family and friends you have attracted in the past, and in fact, much more than this. It might include the books you read, the music you listen to, even the house you live in and the car you drive. All of these act as props, so to speak, that can keep you from changing your ways. It is thus important to understand the idea of inertia or momentum in your life and the need to work hard, at first, and maybe for a while, to overcome it.

Once you have set in motion new habits, new behaviors, and new thinking patterns, this inertia lessens to a degree and the new path becomes far easier. However, it can be quite difficult for a while. Following a nutritional balancing program to increase your biochemical energy production can be a great help with this, because it may take some energy to overcome your inertia and change your direction in life. For more on this subject, read the article entitled Inertia And How To Overcome It.

The same methods above that you used to increase your awareness can be used to continue to motivate and increase your desire to be different in whatever way you choose.

Sadness helpful at this stage of repentance. To help you develop a strong desire to change, it is helpful to feel sadness, regret or contrition about your past to some degree. Guilt is not helpful, except in some cases, but a certain sadness about missing the mark or sinning, as it is called in the bible, is most helpful. In fact, it is a central part of the process of repentance. If there is no sadness and contrition, then repentance is not complete and usually the change that is needed will not occur fully.

5. To fully implement your new desire you must take positive action and sustain it. The next step in repentance is to begin life anew, so to speak, or make the changes you desire and intend to make. This is an action step. It, too, is an essential part of the repentance process. It is not enough just to study the truth, or to feel sad about your past behaviors or thoughts. You must also take action in a new direction.

The need for discipline. Learning discipline is critical in this stage of repentance. The word intention means a disciplined and sustained desire. Self-discipline is required to sustain your desire and your new actions in the new direction you want to go, even when things become difficult or discouraging. This is one reason for sticking with a healthful diet and doing the Roy Masters meditation, for example, even if you don’t like them. They teach discipline and they are actions that change your life. The discipline itself is a wonderful benefit. The discipline you learn can be applied to any project or area of your life, and you become a more powerful and more effective in every area of life.

The word discipline. By the way, the word discipline is related to the word disciple. It does not exactly mean just forcing or pushing yourself to do something. It is more about becoming a disciple of the truth, and subordinating the old ego or lower will to something greater and more wonderful.

Your new action must be strong and direct, and it must be sustained in order for it to take hold in your mind and body, and finally in every area of your life. In this sense, a whole systems change must occur for repentance to be complete. It may mean new friends, a new lifestyle, different books and media to listen to, and much more. The entire body and mind must be inclined or shifted to support your new lifestyle.

6. Allow and surrender into your new way of living. This is the final positive outcome of repentance. It means that you understand at a deep level that living differently will have consequences, and you are ready to accept them. For example, if you even change your diet, or perhaps give up alcohol, cigarettes or loose sex, you may lose some friends. You might even alienate your family. You may have to change your church, or your job. It might cost you money, and it may cause other stress as well. However, you understand this at a deep level, and you know it is for the best. Therefore, you are prepared and willing to go through whatever are the consequences of thinking and acting differently. This is another difficult step for some people. They want to do the right thing, but they do not want to suffer the consequences that it might cause.

To help you with this step, surround yourself with new friends who believe as you do. Also, keep reading this website and other material that supports your new lifestyle and way of living. In fact, anything that is helpful, even if it seems very gimmicky, should and often must be used, at times, to help you to surrender fully into your new way of being and living.

You will need to adopt an attitude of “letting the cards fall as they may”. This is very difficult for some people, so do not feel frustrated or discouraged if you feel the pain of letting go of some people, places, things, or whatever was part of your former lifestyle. This is true of all the steps above, but particularly this one. All great people who have accomplished great things have had to go through this process of repentance and change, and have faced the same obstacles. So know that you are in good company when the old forces come against you and you feel lonely, misunderstood or unloved by your old friends and perhaps family members as well. This is the challenge of this step in the repentance process.

CONCLUSION - BENEFITS OF REPENTING

The main benefit and need for truly repenting is that when you go through the steps above, which you will have to do many times in your life in order to live properly in most cases, you are truly through with your past performance, behaviors and speech. You will also be off in a new direction, and in most cases, if you do it correctly, you will not be tempted to go back to the old ways. This is the main benefit.

You will also be a wiser person, a more mature person, a more self-reflective person and a deeper or more profound thinker. These are just a few of the wonderful benefits of going through the process of repentance over and over again, without anger, fear, too much guilt or too much hesitation.

Compassion for yourself and repentance. In fact, repentance requires a lot of compassion for yourself. You must see what you did incorrectly or wrongly, but you must continue to love yourself through the process of repentance or it will stall. In this regard, learning compassion for yourself through the process of repentance is another great benefit of going through the process over and over again.

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