THE SEXUAL ORDER
by Dr. Lawrence Wilson
©June 2018, LD Wilson Consultants, Inc.
All information in this article is for educational purposes only. It is not for the diagnosis, treatment, prescription or cure of any disease or health condition.
What The Sexual Order Is Not
The Sexual Order Protects Women
Letting Men Lead Is Not The Same As Letting Them “Run Your Life”
Sexual Order In The Larger Society
What Occurs When It Is Not Followed
When The Order Should Be Reversed
Definition. The idea of the sexual order is that although women are often just as intelligent as their husbands or male partners or more so, it is often best that in the case of disagreement the man should make the final decision in important matters that involve the two of them.
The reason for it. The sexual order is an ancient concept. The main reason for it is that women are much more fearful than men. This is because they are smaller and physically weaker than most men. For this reason, women are much more prone to respond to threats, rapes, tortures and other attacks.
All of this colors women’s thinking greatly and affects their decision-making.
WHAT THE SEXUAL ORDER IS NOT ABOUT
The sexual order has nothing to do with anyone’s value or intrinsic worth in any way. This is a common misconception about it. Also, the sexual order is not about who is better, more important, more loving, or who comes first in the relationship. In fact, the one who leads in any relationship or position must serve the other and the whole.
WHAT ABOUT WOMEN VOTING
It is only relatively recently that women have voted in elections. In America, this change occurred in the earth 1900s.
The founders of America did not expound upon this subject, to the best of my knowledge. However, I believe they were not simply male chauvanists. I believe they realized that women are more fearful and more easily controlled. Therefore, it is not in their best interest or the best interest of society that they vote on their own.
A couple should ideally decide how to vote together. However, the concept of the sexual order applies.
Men, as many people know, tend to vote much more conservative and less liberal than women. We believe this is a positive attribute of men.
When women achieved the vote in America, soon after the so-called progressive era began. It was a time of tremendous growth in the size and power of the national government. Many people believe it hastened the downfall of America.
THE SEXUAL ORDER PROTECTS WOMEN
Far from harming women, the concept of the sexual order has to do with protecting women from harmful tendencies in their own thinking processes.
ABUSE OF THE SEXUAL ORDER CONCEPT
Problems with the sexual order include the following:
1. The woman’s feelings can be trampled. That is, the man can make her feel stupid or inferior as a person. He may believe that this is the reason he should make the final decisions for the family.
This is never correct. It is not the reason he makes the decisions. It is the factors above, which do not at all include intelligence or general superiority. He is the stupid one if he thinks he is superior or more intelligent than his wife.
2. The woman is left out of the decision-making process. This is also always incorrect. In all situations, he should consult her before major decisions are made for a couple or for a family.
3. It is okay to push around or boss around your wife. This is not the meaning of the sexual order, and is incorrect.
Some women choose to associate with immature or lower quality men. The idea of allowing such a man to “run her life” and “control her” then sounds despicable, and intolerable.
However, ladies, this is usually because you have chosen to associated with an immature man and not to a good one who would only love you, not use you. They are often the more “nerdy”, less physically attractive ones, but a wise woman figures this out very quickly and stops looking at the body and starts paying attention to a man’s thoughts, feelings and behavior, not his looks, which can always be enhanced, if needed, with better clothing or better hygiene.
LETTING MEN LEAD IS NOT THE SAME AS LETTING THEM “RUN YOUR LIFE”
It is more about getting his input and allowing him to move you along in certain ways that may seem odd or harsh, at times, but are often helpful, if you examine them closely. This assumes, once again, that one is mated to a good man.
Mature women know this, as do mature men. There is nothing wrong with following your pastor’s advice, for example, if it is wise. In the same way, there is nothing wrong with following the advice of a wise or maturing man in a man-woman relationship. Be very clear about this.
Too many psychics, psychologists and counselors mislead their clients by telling them they must always “be in charge” of their lives. This is simply wrong advice. Often the opposite is true. Letting others lead you is a wise move for most people, most of the time. It will keep you safer, cleaner in your thinking, and you will become mature much faster. To read more about becoming mature, read How To Mature Faster on this website.
THE SEXUAL ORDER IN THE LARGER SOCIETY
The sexual order concept also applies to larger societal decision-making that involves men and women. Those who make these decisions are presidents, legislators, and judges.
WHEN THE ORDER MAY BE REVERSED
In a few cases, if the man and woman agree, and only then, they can reverse the sexual order. A possible reason for doing this is if the man is very ill or very depressed and beaten up in some way, perhaps. In this case, the woman may take over his role to a degree. Even in these cases, however, it is usually best to maintain the sexual order as much as possible.