by Dr. Lawrence Wilson
© February 2019, LD Wilson Consultants, Inc.
All
information in this article is solely the opinion of the author and is for
educational purposes only. It is
not for the diagnosis, treatment, prescription or cure of any disease or health
condition.
Contents
III.
WHY IS ANGER SUCH A PROBLEM?
VII.
A DEVELOPMENT PROGRAM TO HELP WITH ANGER
IX.
THE PULLING DOWN EXERCISE TO HELP WITH LETTING GO AND FORGIVING
X.
MAKING ANGER ACUTE OR RETRACING ANGER
XII.
OTHER IDEAS TO DEAL WITH ANGER
XIII.
HOW TO PREVENT ANGER SPIRITUALLY
*****************
1. Anger is fear
that I project. This is not a standard dictionary
definition, but it is the truth and very important to understand. It is explained in more detail in the
next section of this article.
2. Dictionary
definition - A
passion or expression of extreme displeasure, often with a desire to hit back
or punish in some way.
3. Physics. Anger is non-action or a reversed
response to a situation that is causing fear.
4. Biology/physiology.
Anger is a state of
glandular arousal the body in response to danger or perceived danger. Anger causes the secretion of the
adrenal hormones adrenaline and noradrenaline. These basically arouse the body to prepare it to fight or
run.
Chronic anger may be viewed in terms of the
glandular system as an approach to life in which one is usually in a state of
readiness for an attack at all times.
It is not unlike paranoia, except that paranoia is more of the mind,
while anger is more of the body and the emotions.
This glandular response may or
may not be followed or accompanied by action of some kind. In this regard, anger can be helpful if
you are actually being attacked. The
problem is that when there is no real threat to life, the adrenal, thyroid and
even sex hormones still circulate in the blood. If this happens often, it is quite destructive for the body.
5. Psychology. Anger is an analytical or
mental rather than an action-oriented response to stress or perceived threats
of any kind.
Anger and worse, resentment and
hostility, are types of neuroses in which the mind is fixated on the lower
power centers of the body at all times, as a way to apparently protect oneself
from real or perceived danger or threats.
Anger is a bad mental habit or
way of thinking by which a person tends to project all of oneÕs problems
outside of oneself and then react to them with anger.
For example, one can become
angry that it is cold outside, or too hot outside, or that oneÕs favorite
sports team just lost a game. All of
this is really quite insane, as there is little real threat to oneÕs life due
to these events. However, for the
person who is anger-centered, this is a way to distract oneself and feel
somehow ÒbetterÓ about oneself by blaming all of oneÕs fearful and other
feelings on someone or something else rather than owning the original feelings,
and accepting them as just feelings from some source or other.
6. Energy centers of the body.
Anger is a first, second and third energy center response to real or
perceived threats of harm. Anger,
in this regard, is truly a ÔgutÕ response, because the second and third energy
centers are in the gut area of the body, or abdominal area. These have to do with power, control
and manipulating others. It is as
though anger is a response to feeling powerless, or controlled or manipulated
by another.
This response must be contrasted
with other possible energetic responses to threats or attacks. One can respond from the heart, the
mind, or higher spiritual level responses, such as the words of Jesus, ÒForgive
them, Father, for they know not what they doÓ. He could have just been angry, but chose this alternative
response.
7. Interpersonal
level. Anger indicates a desire to hurt
someone, basically as a means of removing a threat or perceived threat.
8. Maturity level. Anger is always somewhat immature because it is an
ego response. Anger is also an
immature response because is not the best way to handle problems due to the
destructive effects of anger on the body and brain.
9. The stress
theory of disease. Acute anger is a
mentally-triggered fight-or-flight response. It can prepare the body to fight or run away, although often
it is a substitute for real action.
People who anger easily may be
said to be in a state of heightened physical or emotional sensitivity to
stress. This can be due to
biochemical imbalances, as explained below under the heading of minerals. It can also be due to psychological
immaturity, ignorance of the facts of a situation, or other illnesses, perhaps.
10. Directionality. Anger is a movement of subtle energy upwards, from the feet
to the head. This is very
important because subtle should move downward from the head to the feet. This heals and develops the body. Moving energy upward stops development
and causes disease. For details,
read Downward Motion Of Energy And Healing.
Our language reflects this idea. We say that an angry person is upset or uptight and needs to calm down.
11. A reversal. A reversal
is an attempt
to push back or reverse an action back to its source. Anger is an attempt to respond in kind to the real or
perceived threat. If you push me,
I will push you back. This is also
what is meant by a movement of energy upward or perhaps horizontally, rather
than sending the energy of the threat downward.
12. Levels of
brain function. Anger is an animalistic response to
stress or perceived threats. It is
associated with the Òold brainÓ, also called the Òemotional brainÓ or Òanimal
brainÓ. It is the response used by
all animals to respond to danger or threats of danger.
Human beings, unlike the
animals, are capable of ÔhigherÕ or more evolved responses to danger or a
threat of danger. They can respond
with thought, dialogue, prayer, asking for help, and so on.
13. Yang and
yin. Anger is a toxic yang
response. It is, however, more yin
than taking direct action such as punching someone who says something you donÕt
like.
14. Mineral
nutrition. Anger, according to Dr. Paul C.
EckÕs research, is often related to toxicity with copper, iron and/or manganese.
Copper stimulates the biogenic amines
and tends to enhance all emotions.
Copper is more related to fear.
However, fear is the underlying emotion that causes anger.
Iron accumulates in the in the amygdala,
an area of the brain associated with rage and anger.
Manganese can also accumulate in
the brain and is associated with a different type of anger that is
non-emotional and completely psychopathic.
Iron, copper and manganese are
ÒolderÓ minerals associated with more crude responses to stress such as
anger. They are not the most
Òspiritually advancedÓ minerals, as are minerals such as zinc, silicon and
selenium. The latter are
associated with more spiritual responses to stress. For details, read Copper
Toxicity Syndrome, Iron Toxicity and Manganese and The
Amigos – Iron, Manganese and Aluminum.
The converse of mineral
poisoning as a cause of anger also occurs: People who are angry by nature may
hold on to toxic amounts of iron, copper and/or manganese. This is one reason why some people
eliminate excessive amounts of these metals easily, while others have more difficulty
eliminating them.
This is a far more complete
definition of anger that hopefully clarifies what it is and how it works.
Positive aspects
of anger. These are:
1. An awakener. Becoming angry with another
person or a situation can wake one up to the facts of the situation. Getting angry can be your body wisdom
telling you that something is wrong, even if you donÕt know what it is.
2. A motivator for
action. At
times, becoming angry with another person or with a situation will clarify a
situation and thus enable action to occur. Becoming upset enough, for example, may help a person move
away from a bad relationship, quit a bad job, move away from a toxic friend or
family of origin, or take other actions to end a problem or dispute.
An example. Several years ago a 35-year-old man began a development
program under my care. I noticed
he seemed agitated and irritated.
Neither I, nor he, was aware of the cause.
Several months later he returned
for a follow up visit and was no longer irritated. When I asked about it, he said that one day he exploded in
anger at his roommate, who had been damaging his house, and told the roommate
to leave at once.
The problem had been going on for
over a year. The young man needed
to get angry to become fully aware of it and take action. The development program may have given
him the energy or mental clarity to do this.
Once anger has served these
purposes, one must let it go and move on.
Ideally, one learns to notice oneÕs reactions and to take action without
needing the energy waster called anger.
Anger is always an action of the
ego mind, which projects anything it does not like. The ego mind is an aspect of the brain or mind that appears
to protect and defend a person. It
is important in childhood, but the ego self later in life often gets in the
way, and becoming angry is one of the ways it ruins oneÕs life.
The reactive mind. This part of the mind is sometimes called the reactive mind because it tends to
react to stimuli or many kinds, rather than originate creative thoughts and
ideas as to how to solve problems.
In fact, fear and anger are the
basic emotions of the ego self.
Fear is the most basic feature of an ego-centered person. If you find yourself afraid of
anything, you are acting from the ego mind.
Most people do not want to feel
afraid all the time, but they do not know what to do about it. The ego mind has an answer. It
projects the fear outside of itself and then responds to the projection with
the emotion - or really the bodily response - called anger. Anger feels better than fear.
This is how the ego solves the
problem of fear in most people, most of the time.
The ego mind, in fact, is
sustained by feelings of fear and anger.
Some people can see this in themselves, how they alternate between these
two emotions much of the time.
Getting off this wheel of fear
and anger is essential for health.
It requires:
1) Greater awareness. Any time you become angry, ask yourself
ÒWhat am I afraid of?Ó This will
help dissipate anger better than most other methods.
2) Most helpful is the Pulling Down Exercise daily. This exercise enhances awareness and
causes a healthy detachment from all emotions and thoughts.
Otherwise, most people are
trapped in this cycle, which eventually causes disease in the body.
The reasons include:
á
Anger
destroys the body. It causes high
blood pressure, high blood sugar, cancer, heart attacks and more. Fight-or-flight reactions are catabolic,
meaning they tend to tear down the body.
Too much of the adrenal hormones such as cortisone, for example, is very
damaging to many body organs and tissues.
á
Anger
expressed can upset others, damaging marriages, work relationships, parenting
situations and many others.
á
Anger can use up a lot of energy that
may be better spent in other ways.
á
Anger
is usually an ineffective solution to problems. In fact, when angry, the mind is not clear and often people
make poor decisions as a result.
They are often called Òhot headsÓ because their chi is in their
head. A better way to make
decisions is with a clear, ÒcoolÓ head, meaning not out of anger.
á
Anger
creates victim thinking that disempowers a person. The reason is that being angry tends to be a denial of oneÕs
own part in situations and events.
In other words, being angry at all tends to distract one or obscure a
deeper truth, namely that oneÕs own thoughts, words and deeds often create
situations more than circumstances or the actions of others.
á
Anger
ruins many lovely personalities.
Angry people tend to be ungrateful, somewhat dull and boring, and even
ugly. This is because anger is not
befitting a high-functioning individual.
It is reactive instead of creative, deadening rather than life-giving.
This
is just a name for a set of symptoms that tend to be found together in people
who are angry much of the time.
Among them are inflammation, joint pain, digestive difficulties, nervousness, fatigue
or exhaustion, depression, allergies, dizziness, mood swings, mind racing,
brain fog, dry mouth, anorexia, confusion, low self-esteem, headaches, and
perhaps high blood pressure if the situation continues for a while.
Angry
disease is seen more commonly in certain groups, such as young women, who seem
to be more prone to anger for hormonal or other reasons. For much more on this subject, read Why Are Many Women Angry?
Solutions for anger. The section above about definitions of
anger give us all we need to correct the situation. The solutions include:
- A strong desire and intent to let go of anger.
- A development program to improve the body chemistry and
help eliminate toxic metals that contribute to anger.
- Forgiveness to help one let go and forgive everyone and
everything
- Methods to help one stop projecting oneÕs fear and other
emotions
- Other, such as methods to heal the energy centers so that
a person can begin to respond from the upper energy centers instead of the
lower ones. Let us explore these
in more detail.
The spiritual
answer to anger is always forgiveness. There is no
substitute for it. To forgive
means to let go of anger and move on in your life. There is really little else to do.
Holding on to anger causes
frustration, resentment, hostility and worse. One may believe it is necessary and justified. However, it is never a proper response.
Therefore, the only answer is to
forgive. But how can this be done
in a genuine way, especially after, say, a loved one has been murdered, or
something else apparently terrible has transpired?
The answer is,
there is no simple human way. One must go to a different level in
order to see the truth. This is
where meditation of the type recommended in this article and on this website
will help. You may also ask that
it be done by the angels, God or the High Self. I believe your prayers will be answered, although not
necessarily on your time schedule, and perhaps not in the way you believe
should occur.
Forgiving does not mean to
condone what occurred, or to deny it, or minimize it. Many make this mistake. It just means to let go and move on.
Forgive yourself,
too. Another spiritual technique that
may help is to forgive yourself.
If you can do this, it will be far easier to forgive anyone else. You
must forgive yourself for your misperceptions of your situation. This may sound odd. After all, what have you done that
requires forgiveness?
The answer is that you have
misperceived or attached a certain value to a situation that is not
appropriate. Therefore, you are in
error and need forgiveness.
For example, if someone robbed
you and you become angry, you have misperceived the importance of the car or
the house, or whatever was attacked or damaged. In fact, God and spirit are all that are real, from this
viewpoint. This is somewhat
advanced, but if you are so inclined, forgiving yourself for your misperception
will help a lot. It involves
changing your perception of the situation, which is usually very healing.
Forgiving yourself is also
helpful in another way. Often
people blame themselves for accidents, for example. We often say things like Òif only I had taken the bus that
day instead of walking to workÓ, or Òif only I had listened to my Dad and not
gone out with that manÓ, or something like this.
Here forgiveness of the self is
essential in order to avoid turning your anger inward against yourself. Turning
anger inward causes depression and sadness, and does nothing to resolve the
actual anger. It usually just
comes out in a different form that is often even more harmful to yourself.
Another way to
deal with anger is to cultivate true patience. Throughout the ages, patience has been viewed as a great
virtue. Before discussing this, I
want to differentiate true patience from a false type of patience that is
common today. By true patience, I mean an understanding of the situation from a
detached perspective so you can see the long-term consequences of your anger
and of the attack or issue that caused your anger.
False patience, by contrast, is
just biding your time to get revenge.
This is the ÒpatienceÓ often seen on television and in movies that is
not really patient. It is just
waiting for an opportunity to strike back. One holds onto anger with the latter, but not with the
former.
Patience is a
great virtue. A wonderful phrase from the
bible is that ÒIn patience possess ye your soulsÓ. Others have stated this differently by saying Òpatience is
having time on your side.
Impatience is having time working against youÓ.
Patience is a virtue that must
be learned, however. Patience is
not inborn in most people.
Patience implies a long-term view of the world and events.
Patience is also helpful to
handle a situation properly. For
example, if one is run over by a drunk driver and one needs to file a legal
complaint, patience would help you prepare thoroughly for the legal case,
instead of just lashing out at the driver. Patience might also involve realizing that alcoholism must
be overcome in our society or we will never get over the deaths and suffering
due to this problem.
Patience often teaches many
other lessons, such as the fact that those who commit crimes can and do suffer,
too. In this way, patience is a
great teacher. However, patience
is not the same as forgiveness, which is a letting go of anger altogether.
This can help by:
1.
Resolving traumas that are at the root of some anger. This is fascinating and a large
subject. For more, please read Trauma Release on
this website.
a) Toxic metals. These include lead, cadmium, copper, iron, manganese and
others. Having too much of these
in the body is like having a nervous finger on the trigger of a gun.
In some cases, the trait has
been given names, such as Òmanganese madnessÓ, a condition found in those who
mine and handle a lot of manganese.
Other people who are angry are
sometimes called Òiron-fistedÓ.
Iron and manganese, at times, settle in an area of the brain called the
amygdala, which is associated with feelings of rage and anger. As the metal is removed from the body,
people often get in touch with how angry they are and calm down. This is our repeated observation.
Cadmium and lead are also
associated with angry responses.
All these toxic metals are neurotoxic. Most increase the brainÕs inappropriate responses to stress. For example, hair samples from a number
of serial killers has shown their lead, cadmium and manganese levels are higher
than normal. (Toxic Metal Syndrome, Casdorph and Walker, p. 207).
b) Nutrient
deficiencies
are often associated with anger, believe it or not. Among the most important elements needed to reduce
inappropriate anger and avoid triggering the anger response are the sedative minerals. These are calcium, magnesium and zinc.
They are actually psychological
buffer elements that reduce a personÕs responses to stress. Too much is not good, but in the right
amount they keep a person balanced and they prevent excessive emotional
responses such as rage.
Other important nutrients that
contribute to appropriate emotional responses include zinc, selenium, chromium,
available manganese and others.
These are also needed to manage stressful situations of many kinds, both
inside and outside of the body.
c) Unbalanced
ratios of minerals
can also contribute to anger reactions.
For example, a ratio of calcium to magnesium in the hair that is above
about 9.5:1 may be associated with defensiveness. This is a method whereby people use
their angry reactions to protect themselves from stress of all kinds. It is a learned response, usually, that
is extremely hard to live with for other people because it tends to block
loving responses.
A low calcium/magnesium ratio
may be associated with a magnesium deficiency, which can also trigger anger.
An elevated sodium/potassium
ratio is definitely associated with anger responses. This may be because sodium is a volatile mineral and
potassium tends to balance this trait to some degree. Both sodium and potassium have a lot to do with how the
adrenals and the kidneys are functioning.
These imbalances are easy to read on a hair analysis and easy to reduce
as well using development science.
d) Other triggers
for anger. These include removing hundreds of
toxic chemicals, for example, and even some viruses and bacteria or parasitic
organisms that can lodge in the brain and trigger emotional responses.
3. Reducing the
intensity and duration of any improper anger response. Once an anger response occurs, a development program can
help one to recover faster and stop the response before it gets worse. This requires strengthening and balancing
the autonomic nervous system, primarily, but also requires excellent cellular
nutrition and the elimination of many types of toxins from the body –
metals, chemicals and biological toxins such as viruses and other
micro-organisms.
4. Healing anger-caused damage to the nervous system and glands, and rebuilding both of them. This is a critical benefit of development. In most adults and even many children, prolonged or too much anger has caused damage to the adrenal glands.
The result is often fatigue, low
blood sugar and more. Sometimes
these cause depression, anxiety and other problems. This can also lead to a vicious cycle in which one just
becomes more angry, especially when most doctors cannot find the reason for the
symptoms. They may contribute to
the anger with their expensive tests, drugs, chelating agents and other methods
that may not help much.
At least 100 or more nutrients
are needed every day. We must
obtain these from food and with the use of supplements. However, rebuilding the glandular and
nervous system with nutrients usually takes a few years and must be done
properly to work well.
5. Improving mental clarity,
cognitive ability, memory and reasoning.
Removing hundreds of toxic chemicals from the brain and
nervous system and reducing the burden of toxic metals will restore brain
function, often to an amazing degree.
This can help stop inappropriate angry responses, enable one to process
old traumas that lead to anger, help expose false beliefs that trigger anger,
and help a person figure out more adaptive and better responses to lifeÕs
problems.
6. Helping a
person develop more spiritual attitudes and responses to stress of all types. This may sound like an outrageous claim for a nutrition and
lifestyle-based healing program.
However, zinc and selenium, in particular, are crucial for the activity
of the neocortex or Ônew brainÕ, and other higher brain centers.
As these are activated more and
more, a person becomes more attuned to what are called the higher emotions such as compassion, love and others. This will help anyone to cope with
stress in a more peaceful and balanced manner.
Such benefits may seem vague and
intangible, but they are real.
Many people report back that they have a better attitude about life, in
general. What is occurring is that
parts of their brain that were less active are becoming more active. As this occurs, they think differently
and can adopt better attitudes.
To keep this article short, a
discussion of the psychological benefits of development is contained in
separate articles on this website such as Development
and others.
7. Helping to
prevent the suppression of anger. Many hair mineral analyses indicate
maladaptive or inappropriate responses of a person to his or her own
anger. Often these are conditioned
responses to anger that are not correct.
Development, though it may be hard to imagine, can help correct some of
these responses. Suppression indicators
on a hair mineral test include:
A calcium shell. This often indicates a degree of psychological withdrawal and often anger is turned inward against oneself. This causes feelings of depression and even despair.
For example, a very sweet, reserved middle-aged lady once consulted me. Her hair analysis indicated a calcium shell pattern, which is a hair calcium level above about 170 mg%.
I mentioned to her that she might feel emotions more strongly when the shell came down as a result of the program she was following. On her next visit, a retest mineral analysis revealed that the shell had indeed disappeared.
She also reported to me that one day she surprised and frightened herself because she Òblew her topÓ at her husband for no apparent reason. Essentially, she stopped suppressing her anger, or her energy improved enough that anger was able to be expressed.
A high and perhaps a very low calcium/magnesium ratio.
This indicates some defensiveness, in
which a person may defend his angry responses. This can be related to eating too many carbohydrates,
especially sugars.
These Òpump up the systemÓ, obscuring and hiding a person from his own deepest feelings. This is one reason why angry people may crave sweets or carbohydrate foods – to hide or defend their angry responses.
An elevated sodium/potassium ratio. This is associated with acute anger.
A low sodium/potassium ratio. This pattern is associated with more chronic anger – or frustration, hostility or resentment. Chronic anger is suppressed anger, and as this pattern is corrected with a development program, the anger may surface and be resolved.
A bowl pattern. This can indicate that oneÕs chronic anger is causing one to feel stuck emotionally, as though one has no options. Once again, a development program often resolves this unfortunate condition.
Four lows pattern. This effect of chronic anger is associated with giving up, feeling very stuck, spinning oneÕs wheels, and often becoming cynical and negative as a result. A persistent four lows pattern on several successive hair mineral tests we call the deep anger pattern.
Four highs pattern. This is associated with inflammation, which often includes inflamed emotions such as anger.
Passive-aggressive pattern. This pattern is a combination of a calcium shell pattern
(suppression) and a four highs pattern (inflamed emotions).
Workaholic pattern. This is a combination of three highs (inflammation) and an
elevated sodium/potassium ratio (possible acute anger).
Step down pattern. This includes a high sodium/potassium ratio (often some acute
anger).
Step up pattern. This includes a low sodium/potassium ratio (resentment and
hostility) and fast oxidation (acute stress response, which is often due to
some anger).
Purposes that we bring up these
common hair mineral test patterns is to show how common anger is and how it
presents in the tissue mineral system of the body.
Each of the above patterns is
discussed in more detail on the Read Articles page
and in separate articles. By
correcting these imbalances, a person is far more able to respond to situations
without suppressing anger or misinterpreting angry responses.
This article would not be
complete without mentioning several other factors that are critical to help
reduce inappropriate anger. The
most important of these is getting enough rest and sleep.
Rest and sleep. Insufficient rest, all by
itself, will trigger an angry response in many cases. Think about this carefully. Most people have experienced anger or irritability due to
lack of adequate rest. Most
everyone knows this, but few talk about it. Most people, especially teens and busy parents, do not get
nearly enough sleep.
Anger as a way to handle fatigue and depression. This is an important and interesting cause for anger today among many millions of people. If the adrenal glands and thyroid gland are exhausted due to lack of rest or nutritional depletion from any cause, some people will use anger as their motivation to get out of bed in the morning and to keep them going throughout the day.
This may sound strange, but it is very common. It is a terrible type of motivation,
however, that leads to horrible consequences including illnesses, divorce and
even violence.
Exercise. Some exercise may be helpful
for anger. It releases some of the
hormones and can release some emotions as well. However, it is often used in inappropriate ways to cope with
anger. This is not healthful and
can cause heart attacks and more problems.
Millions today, in America and elsewhere in the developed
nations, are addicted to exercise to some degree. It assists them to cope with their fatigue or their
anger. This is not a good way to
use exercise or anything, for that matter. For details, read Healthy
Lifestyle.
Letting go is a complex
process. It is discussed in more
detail in an article on this website entitled Letting
Go. However, the most powerful
method I know to force one to let go is a particular mental exercise.
This exercise relaxes the body,
heals the body, teaches one to move energy downward instead of upward into
anger. It activates the seventh
energy center, which is required for forgiveness. It also helps one recognize that one must go to a higher
level of understanding, in order to forgive others and let go of anger.
Different from
other meditations, prayer, affirmations and more. This is different from prayers, which are asking for
forgiveness, for example. It is
different from affirmations or decrees such as, ÒI forgive everyone for
everythingÓ.
The pulling down exercise is
submitting of your will to a higher power. This relieves us of dealing with anger incorrectly, and alone
is a great benefit. The world is
larger than ourselves and there is no way we understand all angles of a problem
such as anger. Thus, it can make
sense to turn it over to a higher power and do our best to forgive and ask for
help.
The exercise helps in many ways:
1. It will bring up oneÕs own
issues so that they will not remain as a subconscious trigger mechanism for
inappropriate angry responses.
2. It will calm the mind so that
one can see all situations more clearly.
3. It sets up an objective
observer consciousness inside oneself that makes it much easier to discern the
truth in all situations.
4. It relaxes the sympathetic
nervous system and, indeed, the entire body and mind to help one handle all
stressful situations better.
5. It can greatly reduce the
duration of an anger response if one does the exercise after a stress-producing
situation.
6. It can help anyone to become
a happier person so that all slights, insults and attacks by others do not
upset your balance and your peace nearly as much.
7. It can help one develop
emotional detachment and a forgiving and loving attitude of Òthy will be
doneÓ. As you do this at a deeper
and deeper level, you will be able to accept more in your life, become more flexible
in your attitudes and responses and be better able to forgive and forget, which
is the ultimate answer to holding anger and grudges against others.
For all of these reasons, we
strongly recommend that everyone do this exercise every day for at least an
hour or two. One cannot overdo on it. At times, it will bring up issues for
review that may be painful to feel.
However, just relax and observe everything from a neutral perspective
and they will pass. For details,
read The Pulling Down Exercise.
X. MAKING
ANGER ACUTE OR RETRACING ANGER
This is an important point. Anger requires a certain amount of
energy. If a person is too tired,
anger will be suppressed, but that does not mean it is not there. It usually just comes out in unusual
ways, or turns to depression, despair or even suicidal thoughts.
We find that when a personÕs
energy improves on a development program, often a temporary result can be a
slight increase in feelings of anger.
This is most noticeable in children, but occurs with adults as
well. Usually this is temporary,
and just represents an elimination of old feelings that were not able to be
handled properly due to blocked biochemical energy or other nutritional
imbalances.
Depression is the most common
emotionally-related complaint in doctorÕs offices today. However, anger is often the underlying
cause. Anger turned inward becomes
depression. For more on this, read
the article on this website entitled Depression.
While all the above is
important, sometimes one needs hints about how to handle anger in oneÕs
life. The following are a few
simple ways that can help. All of
them can work if they derail or decrease the angry response of the sympathetic
nervous system.
1. Tell others
calmly when you are angry instead of just acting out or suppressing your anger.
This can be
done quite easily if one can calm down enough to do it right. All that is needed is to calmly tell
the other person that you are feeling very angry about your situation. That is really all that is needed.
It is surprising, but this is
rarely what people do. Instead,
they act out. They fume, scream,
curse or otherwise react negatively instead of acting in a positive way.
This, in turn, usually makes
others angry and worsens the problem.
The anger escalates until violence occurs or people become sad,
depressed and anxious about themselves and even their sanity.
2. Wait at least a
few minutes, breathe, or leave the room for a while before responding to any
verbal attack or insult. You
might even take a day, or a week to analyze why you are angry and formulate
your response that is not going to escalate the problem, but just expresses it
properly.
When you finally do express your
feelings of anger to another person, try to do it calmly, not using judgment
words. A very excellent way to do
this is the subject of another article on this website, Non-Violent Communication. It is the title of a very good book by
Dr. Marshall Rosenberg.
3. Other methods. Another technique is to hold the
breath until you cannot do so any longer.
This is another way to kick the sympathetic system out of its automatic
mode of operation so you are back in control.
Another method is to speak quietly at all times. Be sure not to suppress your
anger. But control your tongue and
your voice.
Affirmations that may be helpful
are ÒI am in the right place at the right timeÓ and ÒAll events are
neutralÓ. These are actually
spiritual truths, not just words.
If you can understand them and practice them, they will help somewhat.
One final method is to speak
good things about the person or situation you are angry with. This is actually an excellent method,
in spiritual terms. It places you
in the unlikely situation of praising one you wish to hurt. So, once again, it stops the automatic
sympathetic nervous system response and this is extremely helpful, at least in
the short term.
This topic was mentioned at the
beginning of this article, but deserves more attention. Anger has a spiritual component that is
often at the core of the problem.
Let us discuss the basics of this issue.
Anger is always fear that is projected. For more on this topic see the book and/or CD that I made
called The Real Self. It
is also discussed in an article on this website entitled The Real Self.
This means that a person who is
angry is always blaming someone or something else for a problem they are
having, instead of taking personal responsibility for the problem.
However, spiritually speaking,
one is never just attacked. We are
each co-creators of our lives. This
will be hard to believe for someone who was hit by a drunk driver, or perhaps
robbed or raped. Anger is a victim
response often. However, at some
level I believe there are no victims and we co-create or perhaps create our
lives.
While I cannot prove this to
anyone, I do know it is a much happier and empowering stance or belief than the
belief in victimhood. If you are
afraid or angry, and you create your life, then presumably you can uncreate
that which you do not want. The
other perspective is that you are stuck with your life and your traumas, and it
is just too bad. You can make
yourself feel a little better by becoming angry to forget your pain, perhaps,
but that is all.
What to do when
you feel afraid or attacked, or just vulnerable. The answer is not anger,
revenge, self-doubt, fear, or depression.
It is a quiet acceptance based on knowing that God or a higher power is
always in charge. This does not
mean just laying down and dying, by the way. It could mean taking vigorous positive action, in fact. However, it is not an angry response.
This is very hard for most
people to do without some kind of training However, it can be done and is often life-saving. Martial arts, meditation and other
types of training are among the means to assist one to do it.
An excellent example of this was
the famous phrase of Jesus of Nazareth during the crucifixion, when he said,
ÒForgive them, Father, for they know not what they do.Ó His mind was on God, not on his pain or
frustration, or on hating his enemies.
Of course, this is not an easy
response, and it must come from the heart, not just mouthing words. It was a wise response by one who knew
there was a miracle in progress, and to just relax and allow the truth to come
to light. So the answer is not so
much in the words, but the feeling behind them.
An excellent story to read for
those dealing with anger is to read the Book of Job in the Old Testament of the
Bible. It is thoughtfully written
and contains many spiritual truths.
Job did not handle things perfectly, but eventually he learned how to
deal with his anger. Soon after,
his fortunes changed. This brings us to the subject of forgiveness and
forgetting.
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