by Dr. Lawrence Wilson
© June 2019, LD Wilson Consultants, Inc.
All information in this article is for educational purposes only. It is not for the diagnosis, treatment, prescription or cure of any disease or health condition.
A False Belief
Victims Cannot Forgive
How Victimhood Affects Health
Parasites And Victimhood
Development Programs And Victimhood
Liberal, socialistic, left-wing and Progressive Thinking Is All about Victimhood
Steps To Recovery From Victim Thinking
Prayers And Affirmations
How To Break Out Of Victimhood by John Gardner
Quantifying Victim Patterns
Other Articles On This Website To Help Break Out Of victimhood.
Millions of people consider themselves victims. One can feel like a victim of the government, of a disease, of one’s childhood or parents, of men, of women, of your angry or disabled child, of the rapist, the robber, the murderer, the drunk who hit your car and killed your family, and the list goes on.
This article explores what it is to be a victim and why it is important to shift your attitude in order to become well.
DEFINITION OF A VICTIM
A victim, by definition, is powerless, helpless, and ruled by circumstances and forces beyond his or her control. This is probably an adequate definition of a victim.
The opposite of a victim is a sovereign or one who is free.
The opposite of a victim is also one who takes full responsibility for everything that occurs. We know this is a tall order especially for a child, for example, but for adults as well. However, it is very empowering attitude that is very healing.
A FALSE BELIEF
We contend that victim thinking is actually incorrect. The truth is that events and situations may well be set up to give our souls certain experiences that they desire. In other words, we help choose everything in our lives, even the events that seem negative or horrible.
VICTIMHOOD IS A CHOICE
Some would say, no one chooses to be a victim. It just happens one day, maybe even the day you are born. However, we want to offer a different view.
Victimhood is an ATTITUDE, not an event. Events affect people differently. Here are several examples:
Falling down. One person falls down the stairs, breaks a leg and says, I am a victim of the torn carpeting or the toy left on the step, or the shoe that doesn’t fit well. But another person admits he or she was sloppy, careless, or in a hurry, so an accident occurred.
Rape. One lady says “I was just walking in the park and a man grabbed me and raped me violently until I nearly died”. Surely that is a victim.
But another lady states it differently. She says, “I was stupid to walk alone in the park. I was even told once never to walk alone, especially in that park. I take full responsibility and I am grateful to be alive. I will teach others to keep the holy female body safe”.
She adds, “I went straight to the police to report my rape and when they didn’t get the man, I hired a private detective for $10,000.00 to find him and get him put away”. (For much more on this, read Rape and Healing Rape on this site.)
A car accident. One person says the drunk just swerved into my traffic lane and hit our car head on and nearly killed me. What could be more of a victim?
But another man says, we should not have been driving in such a small car, and if I had slept more and taken better care of my health, perhaps I could have reacted faster and mitigated the accident.
Meanwhile, I am now helping to get drunks off the streets by hiring more police, and I now give money to alcohol prevention programs and rehabilitation programs such as Alcoholics Anonymous. I also support legislation to make cars safer and roads safer. (For more on taking responsibility, read The Real Self on this site.)
Cancer. One person says the cancer just struck one day and now I’m an invalid and probably just going to die at a young age in terrible pain and agony.
But another person says, cancer is just a wake up call. Healthy bodies don’t get cancer. There are groups in the world who rarely get cancer, live to a ripe old age, and and not “genetically superior” to me.
Toxic metals and toxic chemicals in the body cause cancer, along with refined food diets and especially eating sweets and junk foods. Stress and resentment also cause cancer. I was doing a little of all of that, so I set myself up for the cancer. I am changing my ways, and I think I can beat it, even without the doctor’s toxic treatments that I know don’t really get rid of the cause. (For more, read Cancer And Alternatives).
Beating. One person says my father beat me and mother held me down. I was just a small child. Surely I am a victim and there was little I could do to “take responsibility” when I was just two years old (or maybe younger).
But another person realizes that maybe I had something to do with choosing my parents and my situation, and even if I did not, I will not let it hold me back any longer.
Many other children, like the starving babies in Africa, Asia and even a few in America, had it much worse than me. I will not feel sorry for myself any more.
I choose now to take full responsibility for my life, even though I don’t understand it. I will not keep hating my father and my mother, and I choose to move on.
Meanwhile, I support charities that deal with domestic violence and child abuse, and help prevent it and stop in others. Also, if I ever catch myself harming another person in any way, I will stop doing it because I know what it feels like.
The point is that choices exist, and victimhood is a choice. In reality, it is a bad choice that keeps one angry, keeps one ill, and keeps one unhappy.
VICTIMS CANNOT FORGIVE
Many people advocate forgiveness after one has been harmed, raped, beaten up or taken advantage of in some other way. This website strongly suggests it. However, some people find forgiveness at the deepest levels very difficult to do. The reason is they are still victims and victims cannot forgive because they lack the power to do so. This is a key point in this article.
If you want to forgive that person or situation or event but find you cannot, stop the victim attitude and you will find forgiveness much easier.
The reason for this is that to forgive means that you are “above” or beyond the situation, you can see what happened, and you are ready to move on. Victims are still deep in their situation, even if it happened years ago. So they cannot forgive, as they are not ready to move on and are not above or beyond the immediate situation.
Victims also cannot forgive because to forgive would mean to let go of the identity of being a victim, which is often worn proudly by the victim right on his or her chest. It puffs up the chest and makes one feel noble and special. Forgiving means giving this up and moving on. This is another reason why forgiveness is difficult for some people.
Forgiveness is also hard for some people because they don’t really know what happened. For example, they may forgive Dad for that one bad spanking, but they don’t remember or have blotted out the other 100 bad spankings, and maybe a rape that occurred, too, because those are too painful.
So they say, “Dad, I forgive the spanking”, but it is not enough. This is very common, by the way, since the mind blanks out or suppresses what it cannot handle. Another reason some people cannot forgive is they are still so angry. One must first decide to stop the anger and begin to reason calmly.
This is often a little more difficult for women, we find, who tend to go to emotion easily, perhaps due to their higher level of copper in the body, and lower level of zinc than men. However, plenty of men just stay angry and cannot forgive for this reason, too. For more on this topic, read Forgiveness on this website.
HOW A VICTIM ATTITUDE HARMS HEALTH
Give up victimhood if for no other reason than that is very damaging to your health. A victim attitude and the accompanying attitudes of anger and lack of forgiveness may easily:
1. Suppress your immune response.
2. Damage digestion and elimination.
3. Cause back pain, headaches, and other aches and pains.
4. Damage the cardiovascular system and raise the blood pressure.
5. Upset the voluntary and the autonomic nervous systems.
6. Upset blood sugar and can actually cause diabetes.
7. Seems to cause or worsen parasitic infections. This is explained below.
PARASITES AND VICTIMHOOD
We have observed in a number of cases that those who have parasites that are difficult to get rid of have a victimhood mentality. We do not know the exact reason for this connection, but it has held true in at least half a dozen cases.
A development program is usually sufficient to rid the body of parasites. However, if a person has a victim attitude, then getting rid of parasites is much more difficult. If one changes this attitude, releasing the parasites becomes easier. For more details, read Parasites.
DEVELOPMENT PROGRAMS AND VICTIMHOOD
Victim thinking definitely slows progress on a development program. In many cases, the problem takes care of itself. As one feels better, one is less tempted to feel like a victim. In a few cases, one must make a conscious effort to let go of all victim thinking in order to make fast progress on a development program.
LIBERAL, SOCIALIST, LEFT-WING, AND PROGRESSIVE POLITICAL DOCTRINES DEPEND ON MAKING PEOPLE INTO VICTIMS
Left-wing or liberal politics today is all about telling people they are victims, usually of white men or of corporation. These politicians want people to feel hurt and oppressed, and then to elect them to “get back” at the oppressors. This is very common, especially in the Democratic Party in America and the liberal or labor parties of Europe, Canada and Australia.
If you want to stop being a victim, stay far away from newspapers, blogs, radio and television shows, and other media that teaches that people are victims. They are wrong and you are being used by them to get elected.
One also needs to let go of identity politics, which is an artificial way to separate people into victim groups such as the black people, the Hispanic people, the women, the homosexuals, and so on.
In fact, any thinking that separates people into “minority” groups is a form of victimhood because it tends to compare and contrast people, saying that some are more worthy than others in some way.
For example affirmative action is a victim-based program, as is political correctness in all of its forms. Avoid all of these, now and forever more, if you ever want to be free and sovereign.
Instead, support free market solutions and capitalism. These political and economic solutions help raise people up, help all people excel, help all people get rich, and help people work harder and learn new skills.
Listen and learn the other perspective - the conservative or so-called right wing media, who think in a much healthier fashion.
This may seem silly and off the subject, but it is not off the subject. Many people unknowingly support systems that promote victimhood, such as socialism, communism, Marxism, progressivism, leftism or liberalism.
STEPS TO RECOVERY FROM VICTIM THINKING
You may be thinking, “I don’t want to be a victim, but I can’t seem to help myself. I just keep thinking of how horrible it was”. This is a common dilemma. So the rest of this short article is about the steps needed to heal victimhood.
1. An awareness that “Yes, I am feeling like a victim of circumstances or events in some way.”
This means you must acknowledge that you consider yourself a victim, with victim attitudes and a victim perspective on your life, no matter what happened or did not happen to you.
2. A firm decision that “I no longer care to be a victim.” It means I will no longer indulge my anger at my father, or the drunk who hit the car and killed the family, or the man that backed his car over my dog, or the boyfriend or husband who ran away, or my child who takes drugs and torments me day and night.
The decision must be real and final. It means I no longer feel sorry for myself, I am no longer willing to run away to my silly pleasures that keep me from feeling how depressed I am, I will no longer run with friends that “agree” on how rotten this world is, and I will no longer read the victim newspapers and the victim websites.
I will no longer indulge in any idle talk about victims of this or that, meaning that I reject the idea that anyone must stay a victim of the hurricane, the tornado, the computer that crashed, the teacher who flunked you or said you are stupid, and so on. In other words, I reject all that and I reject it now and forever.
3. Ask for God’s help and guidance to do the above, especially if I am having problems doing it. I ask every single day in prayer and meditation for help in letting go of my victim thinking, victim attitudes, victim friends, and so on.
4. Embark on a complete development program to strengthen the body, the mind and the soul. I am not kidding. This helps many, many people to let go of all victimhood. The Coffee Enemas and the daily Sauna Therapy can help a lot. The Pushing Down Mental Exercise – and not other meditations and prayers – may be absolutely necessary to help you become aware of your attitudes, aware of your past, and help you to detach, become grounded and centered, see clearly, and therefore to allow you to let go of your victim thinking. Do not skip these procedures!
5. Make the leap. This is the decision that “I have had enough of victimhood. It is not fun! I am a victim of my victimhood and IT MUST GO – ALL OF IT - NOW.”
PRAYERS AND AFFIRMATONS
To help you change your attitude away from victimhood, here are few powerful statements to repeat many times:
“I can choose again”.
“I can choose peace instead of this”
For more affirmations, read I Choose on this website.
HOW TO BREAK OUT OF A VICTIMHOOD MENTALITY – 7 POWERFUL TIPS
by John W. Gardner
“If it’s never our fault, we can’t take responsibility for it. If we can’t take responsibility for it, we’ll always be its victim.”
“Self-pity is easily the most destructive of the non-pharmaceutical narcotics; it is addictive, gives momentary pleasure and separates the victim from reality.”
John W. Gardner
One big problem a lot of people have is that they slip into thinking of themselves as victims that have little or no control over their lives. In this headspace you feel sorry for yourself, the world seems to be against you and you get stuck. Little to no action is taken and you get lost in a funk of sadness and self-pity.
So how can you move out of that mindset? In this article I’d like to share a few things that have helped me.
1. Know the benefits of a victim mentality.
There are a few benefits of the victim mentality:
• Attention and validation. You can always get good feelings from other people as they are concerned about you and try to help you out. On the other hand, it may not last for that long as people get tired of it.
• You don’t have to take risks. When you feel like a victim you tend to not take action and then you don’t have to risk for example rejection or failure.
• Don’t have to take the sometimes heavy responsibility. Taking responsibility for you own life can be hard work, you have to make difficult decisions and it is just heavy sometimes. In the short term it can feel like the easier choice to not take personal responsibility.
• It makes you feel right. When you feel like the victim and like everyone else – or just someone else – is wrong and you are right then that can lead to pleasurable feelings.
In my experience, by just being aware of the benefits I can derive from victim thinking it becomes easier to say no to that and to choose to take a different path.
It also makes it easier to make rational decisions about what to do. Yes, I know that I can avoid risk and the hard work of taking action by feeling like a victim. But I also know that there are even more positive results if I choose to take the other route, if I make the better choice to take a chance and start moving forward.
2. Be ok with not being the victim.
So to break out of that mentality you have to give up the benefits above. You might also experience a sort of emptiness within when you let go of victim thinking. You may have spent hours each week with thinking and talking about how wrong things have gone for you in life. Or how people have wronged you and how you could get some revenge or triumph over them.
Now you have to fill your life with new thinking that may feel uncomfortable because it is not so intimately familiar as the victim thinking your have been engaging in for years.
3. Take responsibility for your life.
Why do people often have self-esteem problems? I’d say that one of the big reasons is that they don’t take responsibility for their lives. Instead someone else is blamed for the bad things that happen and a victim mentality is created and empowered.
This damages many vital parts in your life. Stuff like relationships, ambitions and achievements.
That hurt will not stop until you wise up and take responsibility for your life. There is really no way around it.
And the difference is really remarkable. Just try it out. You feel so much better about yourself even if you only take personal responsibility for your own life for a day.
This is also a way to stop relying on external validation like praise from other people to feel good about yourself. Instead you start building a stability within and a sort of inner spring that fuels your life with positive emotions no matter what other people say or do around you.
When I feel that I am putting myself in victim role I like to ask myself this question:
“Does someone have it worse on the planet?”
The answer may not result in positive thoughts, but it can sure snap you of a somewhat childish “poor, poor me…” attitude pretty quickly. I understand that I have much to be grateful for in my life.
This question changes my perspective from a narrow, self-centred one into a much wider one. It helps me to lighten up about my situation.
After I have changed my perspective I usually ask another question like:
“What is the hidden opportunity within this situation?”
That is very helpful to keep your focus on how to solve a problem or get something good out a current situation. Rather than asking yourself “why?” over and over and thereby focusing on making yourself feel worse and worse.
It’s easy to get wrapped up in thinking that forgiveness is just about something you “should do”. But forgiving can in a practical way be extremely beneficial for you.
One of the best reasons to forgive can be found in this quote by Catherine Ponder:
“When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.”
As long as you don’t forgive someone you are linked to that person. Your thoughts will return to the person who wronged you and what s/he did over and over again. The emotional link between the two of you is so strong and inflicts much suffering in you and – as a result of your inner turmoil – most often in other people around you too.
When you forgive you do not only release the other person. You set yourself free too from all of that agony.
6. Turn your focus outward and help someone out.
The questions in tip #4 are useful. Another question I use when I get into the victim headspace is simply:
“How can I give value right now?”
Asking that question and making that shift in what you focus on really helps, even if you may not feel totally like doing it.
So I figure out how I can give someone else value, how I can help someone out.
And thing is that the way you behave and think towards others seems to have a big, big effect on how you behave towards yourself and think about yourself. For example, judge people more and you tend to judge yourself more. Be more kind to other people and help them and you tend to be more kind and helpful to yourself.
A bit counter intuitive perhaps, but that has been my experience. The more you love other people, the more your love yourself.
7. Give yourself a break.
Getting out of a victim mentality can be hard. Some days you will slip. That’s ok. Be ok with that.
And be nice to yourself. If you have to be perfect then one little slip is made into a big problem and may cause you to spiral down into a very negative place for many days.
It is more helpful to just give yourself a break and use the tips above to move yourself into a positive and empowered headspace once again.
IV. VICTIM PATTERNS ON A HAIR MINERAL ANALYSIS
A hair mineral analysis can sometimes identify if one has a victim attitude. A general indicator is a slow oxidation rate and a sodium/potassium ratio less than 2.5. At times, this may occur during a healing program and just means one is retracing an old attitude, and nothing more. For accurate readings, the hair must not be washed at all at the laboratory.
More severe victim patterns on a hair test are:
1. The hair sodium level must be 1, 2 or 3 mg% only.
2. AND the potassium level must be 1 or 2 mg%.
3. AND the sodium/potassium ratio must be less than 2.5.
4. Most often, the oxidation rate is slow.
5. At times, the person is in a four lows pattern, but this is not required.
This means there are four combinations possible for the levels of sodium and potassium: 1 - 1, 1 - 2, 2 – 2, and 3 – 2.
Quantifying victim patterns. The basic victim pattern = No four lows and sodium is 2 mg% and potassium is 1 mg%.
Add another victim pattern for each of the following conditions:
- four lows
- low four lows
- sodium = 1 mg% and potassium = 1 mg%
- sodium = 1 mg% and potassium = 2 mg%.
For example, if the person with a victim pattern is a low four lows, this is a 3X pattern (the basic pattern, four lows, and low four lows).
ARTICLES ON THIS WEBSITE TO HELP GET OUT OF VICTIMHOOD
If you want to stop being a victim, read the following articles many times:
** I Choose **