I WANT THE PROGRAM, BUT NOT THE FEELINGS
by Dr. Lawrence Wilson
© December 2019, L.D. Wilson Consultants, Inc.
Most people begin a development program excited and very positive about the program. However, in a few cases, the program brings up feelings or thoughts that are quite disturbing or negative.
This is part of the process of retracing, purifying the body and mind, and trauma release. The feelings and thoughts can include anxiety, anger, rage, fear, hateful thoughts and more.
Getting in touch with all of one’s negative feelings and attitudes can take some time. Following a development program hastens the process a lot! This is really a positive aspect of the program, but is not necessarily pleasant.
Unfortunately, when these feelings surface, a few people person stop their development program. This is the subject of this article.
THE HEALING PROCESS
In truth, the only way to heal the body and brain deeply is to uncover, process and release everything that is in the way of health. This almost always involves the release of toxic metals, toxic chemicals, old infections and other physical imbalances in the body.
However, it also often includes old emotional traumas and negative attitudes that arose earlier in life. These block deep healing just as much as a toxic metal or chemical.
Most people are somewhat prepared for the release of physical toxins and infections. However, releasing their mental toxins – especially negative attitudes and false beliefs – is often much more difficult.
Some clients do not want to let go of their old attitudes and beliefs, which they believe are justified or even helpful for them. They may be enjoying a lifestyle based on these attitudes that they do not want to give up.
Others want to change their thoughts and beliefs, but find it very difficult. They believe they may lose their friends, their marriage or something else they value. This is their dilemma.
1. Ask your program Helper to request that Dr. Wilson check if your program needs updating. At times, symptoms are not retracing, but are the result of a change in body chemistry that requires a shift in the diet or supplement program.
Also ask that Dr. Wilson and his guides help you release negative feelings and thoughts. This is important because the guides can often help.
2. You may slow down the pace of the development program by reducing the number of doses of the supplements you take each day. This will delay healing somewhat, but usually reduces the intensity of the feelings.
3. Do more of the Pulling Down Exercise. This is often helpful to move out old traumas and feelings associated with them. You can do it more often, and for longer periods of time.
4. Do more foot or hand Reflexology. This deceptively simple technique can often help to move out unwanted feelings and thoughts.
A MORE ANALYTICAL APPROACH
At times, one needs more understanding of why unwanted feelings are surfacing and how to handle them. Here is how to do this:
1. Become aware that the feelings are real and they are not just an intolerance to a food or supplement, for example.
For example, a person may think, “I become really angry if I eat a lot of cooked vegetables (or do procedures or take various supplements). I guess I just don’t tolerate them.”
2. Understanding that the feelings or thoughts are always from the past, and are not related to the present.
3. Be willing to forgive everyone and everything, and completely let go of the feelings, thoughts or memories.
4. Have courage to trust the healing process, knowing that the thoughts and feelings will eventually disappear, and you will forever be free of the trauma or situation. Let us discuss these steps in more detail.
Many people have trouble acknowledging that they have negative and harmful feelings and attitudes. In other words, they are out of touch with their feelings. This applies to women, as much as it does to men. The attitudes are so ingrained, often from childhood, that the person believes they are “normal”, when, in fact, they are quite negative.
Often, these attitudes are covered up by a sweet or polite surface personality. In this case, the person often has physical symptoms. These are called psychosomatic symptoms and conditions. For example:
- Anxiety can manifest as a pain in the area of the stomach and solar plexus.
- Stress can manifest as a headache.
- Fear can manifest as a shaky feeling, or the presence of phobias.
- Anger can manifest as a shaking in the body, or muscle tightness, or shoulders that will not relax.
- Depression may manifest as a desire to just stay in bed all day or a general negative tone.
IN THE PAST
Once one becomes aware of negative attitudes, another problem arises. It is confusion about the source of the feelings or attitude. One needs to know that the source of the negative feelings or attitudes is in the past, and not in the present. This is another stumbling block to letting go of negative feelings and attitudes.
Seeking the answers in the present is not only untrue. It serves as a distraction and usually a simplification that wastes time and energy, and brings one no closer to unwinding and releasing the real incident or situation that originally brought about the feelings or attitude.
An example. When a person feels anger, the first impulse is to look around in the present to find the source. Often, there are plenty of people and situations that one can blame for one’s anger.
However, if one is retracing, which is the rule during a development program, this is never the reality. In fact, the anger is from the past and is just surfacing now to be processed and released.
Often, the real cause of the feelings has been forgotten, minimized, or perhaps covered up with a story or a fantasy concocted to explain a serious trauma, for example. Energetically, the person has projected the negative feelings out of himself or herself.
As a result, when feelings of intense anger arise, one may not connect the feelings with anything from the past.
WILLINGNESS TO LET GO
A desire to hold on to feelings of resentment, anger and even hatred is quite common!
Bernard Jensen, ND, DC, one of my early teachers, said, “Many people are willing to let go of their donuts and soda pop, but will not let go of their fear or their anger.”
Why not let go of unpleasant feelings? Here are some reasons:
1. They can feel good! Feeling angry at anyone can make you feel superior to the one you hate or are angry with. In other words, it feeds your ego.
2. It is a source of energy. This may sound strange, but one can live on the energy of resentment. This is definitely aberrant, but many people live on the energy of anger and hatred. It is a real, physical energy that will carry one through the day.
To keep the energy of hatred going, one may even marry, go to work for, or have as a friend someone whom one resents. This sounds unusual, but it does occur.
In these instances, giving up the hatred is giving up your energy source. This causes extreme exhaustion that is frightening. However, real energy comes back after a few days or weeks, so don’t worry.
3. Playing the victim. Some people hold on to their hatred, anger, or other negative feelings because they want to remain a victim.
Unfortunately, some counselors and psychiatrists tell people that they “deserve” to be angry or resentful about an incident in the past. Friends or family members may reinforce this idea, as well.
4. A complete identity. In some cases, the incident has become an integral part of one’s personality. This is a more extreme case of the victim mentality. One may “label” oneself as an alcoholic, a rape victim, child of a violent father or mother, or something similar.
This label becomes a focus of one’s life. Letting it go would fundamentally alter one’s identity and perhaps all of one’s life. So it is easier to just hold on to the feelings, even if it means not getting well.
COURAGE TO PROCESS THE FEELINGS
First, one needs to:
a) Acknowledge that one is full of hatred or other negative attitudes or feelings.
b) Understand that the source of the feelings is in the past, not the present.
c) Be willing and committed to letting them go.
The final, and sometimes difficult step is that one must allow the feelings to surface – perhaps in all their ugliness and pain. One must embrace them or accept them fully.
Allowing and embracing all feelings is necessary for the brain to process whatever incident or trauma occurred that gave rise to the feelings. This is the only way to transcend and move beyond the incident and the feelings associated with it.
This final step will be difficult or impossible unless one KNOWS that one is loved, loving and lovable forever.
Accepting this truth usually begins by repeating the affirmation many times, “I am loved, I am loving, and I am lovable forever.” One says this often, and at a certain point, one begins to feel it deeply.
ARE THERE SHORTCUTS?
Yes. The best shortcut is to practice total forgiveness of everyone for everything. I know this sounds drastic to some people, but it is true. It is an ancient teaching found in the holy books of all nations.
Forgiveness is special. For more details, read Forgiving on this website.
WHAT ELSE CAN ONE DO?
Talk to your thoughts and feelings, rather than be afraid of them. Put them outside of you, and give them a name. I call them my dragons, for example.
They remind me of the English legend of a maiden who lives in a chilly castle. A dragon guards the maiden and breathes fire on anyone who comes near the castle.
This sounds good, so far. However, right now a knight in shining armor is approaching the castle and wants to marry the damsel, and the dragon is keeping him away. (The knight in shining armor is the development program that has come to help one’s health situation.)
It is a terrible problem! What has really occurred is that as a result of past fears and traumas, the maiden hired the dragon to protect her. This is the ego structure of anger and resentment that many people have. It works well for a while. However, now this ego structure or dragon is getting in her way.
The dragon must be slain (or retired) in order for the maiden to be “saved” by the wonderful knight. And she must do it! No one else can do it because the dragon belongs to her. For more details of this very real dilemma, read The Knight In Shining Armor.
Other articles about retracing on this website:
My Healing Process by Marianne West
My Deep Healing Crisis by Jenny
Retracing And Healing Reactions (a general article)